If you’re here, you should know my name is jessica (All the pretty girls are named jessica), and that you have just entered the twilight zone. This is gunna be long and incomplete, but bear with me im too interesting and complex of a person for your little minds to concieve. You all need to get to know me, I am the shit. You know, kind of a big deal. You think you know but you have no idea. im young and restless and bored, i dont like going to bed, i hate waking up and despite this all i love life. or i love what i wish my life could be like. i sit in traffic or in line or at work or in school and wonder how its possible that im wasting my time doing that instead of lying on a beach, or traveling, or laughing or being free and living. I refuse to believe that there's only one life and we ruin it with work and school and money. i cant breathe and i spend about 80% of my life not breathing. i need to breathe more. i sleep because in dreams you will lose your heartaches, whatever you wish for you keep. i love my family but... thats all im gunna say about that. im never going to die but im scared of death. i think God's on vacation because this world is a disaster. love is the most important thing in the world to me and it bites me in the ass. It is the only thing that is certain, consistant and eternal. i chose the most difficult way to learn about love. i have ideals that this world doesnt seem to share therefore its all a heartache. Im graduating FIU this summer with a degree in liberal studies, and that’s cooler than your degree. I actually learned and am educated. You all got trained. i get very important people telling me amazing things about me. i get complimented on my intelligence even though i feel like its not getting me anywhere. ive been told not to be so hard on myself because i deeply impact everyone who meets me and offer a lot to learn. ive shocked people with my way of viewing life and how i feel about things and how i live. i cant fully explain that. Im trying to learn how to take compliments, its very hard for me to do so. i clash with society and people think im a bitch and that i swear im perfect. i hate people who think life is about being stupid and ignorant. People like that call me negative because im realistic.
You Are a Realist
You don't see the glass as half empty or half full. You see what's exactly in the glass.
You never try to make a bad situation seem better than it is...
But you also never sabotage any good things you have going on.
You are brutally honest in your assessments of situations - and this always seems to help you cope. Are You An Optimist or Pessimist? They don’t want to see the reality because they don’t want to face it. But when they fuck themselves over, “oh god why me?! Oh it hurts! Oh help me! What did I do to deserve this?†im not fully explaining myself correctly because I can never really express the thoughts floating in my brain because the get lost in translation and what comes out is not exactly what i mean. i talk too much and people dont listen. And I don’t understand why, its like they put me on mute, and then when someone else says it, its like they hear things for the first time. i feel that there's a much greater plan for me. My life feels like a movie, specially now. i love disney and all that magic kingdom stands for, just being there makes me cry. i like animals better than people. because... people are stupid. animals dont hate or discriminate. i feel like im not finished, but i have nothing more to say. go figure. And I love him. And that’s that on that.
This is my life. Nothing else to be said... True love cannot be hidden where it truly does exist.
Back in the day...Here's one of my paintings... made in about 30 minutes in a rush. The picture quality sucks, but you get it. this is unfisnihsed here, but its a two piece.Here's another one of my paintings. i love it, except when i look at it. Thats me. this painting has taken on more meaning now than ever, and it can be interpreted in different ways. who's saving who? "i saw you going down, but you never realized, so i offered you my hand, compassion is in my nature.... you're drowning in the water, and i tried to grab your hand.... go fix yourself.... i cant help you fix yourself, but at least i can say i tried..."this is prince, he gave me 9 good years, and i love him and miss him. he was my baby boy. this was taken 1 day before i had to put him to sleep. he's giving me kissies. lets not talk about it anymore.
