I'm a very exclusive personality, and only surround myself with the best and brightest. The following are in order of importance: 1.) Lack of dumbassity: As in, you must be capable of forming a coherent, intelligent, original thought. I cannot stress this enough people. Sure I'm a nice guy and so when I have to deal with dumb people like I am a regular friendly Fred, but just because I'm super great doesn't mean I have to be excessively generous. This is by far the most important thing in the world; I cannot stress this enough. 2.) Not easily offended: I make lots of jokes (well, I call them jokes, I'm not really sure they're actually funny.) If we are to exchange long protein strands, the following subjects cannot be taboo for comedy: AIDS, Cancer, Venereal Diseases, Human Excrement, Human Ejaculate, Homosexuality, Polygamy, Beastiality, Autoerotic Asphyxiation, other deviant Sexual Behavior, suicide, homocide, genocide, racism, ethnicity and ethnic stereotypes, nations of origin (particularly Poland's fearsome fleet of screen door submarines), religion, cults, drugs, akahol, illegal activities, reckless behavior, indecent exposure, my rippling muscular physique, metrofags, the homoeroticism of Greek organizations (frats, you stupid shit), how dumb liberals are, how dumb conservatives are, wardrobe malfunctions, the Aristocrats, how retarded/awesome hip-hop culture is, mass sterilization, enemas, mothers, burning down the rainforest, the middle passage, manifest destiny, and the multitude of ideological nazis that hate it when people joke about any of these things. 3.) Ability to not be unceasingly annoying every second of the day: Granted not even I always possess this third trait, but fuck you, you're reading my profile, I make the rules. Granted this is very closely tied to the first two, and being ..3 is the least important. The following traits you should not possess even though I do: tendency to make lots of stupid hack jokes that possess no novelty whatsoever, excessive whining and complaining about stupid shit no one gives a fuck about, self-pity, inability to take a stand on anything and be an individual because all your fucktard "friends" feel differently, being excessively indecisive, poor grammar and spelling, speaking improper English and not having a cool accent to make up for it, being a fat sack (even worse is being this and then blaming it on anything but your gross self...I was a chubby little fucker when I was a kid, too, so shape the fuck up), having lots of gay hobbies that you think makes you 'unique' or 'interesting' (here's a hint: if it involves repetitive action to perfect a skill, it isn't interesting), and just generally being a very sorry loser who wallows in self-pity instead of dealing with shit. So to sum up, I am interested in the following types of people: Ninjas, Pirates, Cowboys, Robots...that is all...