So I'm freefalling during my aerial insertion into a secret Iranian weapons facility... |
...when I look down and see several guards patrolling the rooftop. I reach down to my hip to ensure my 9mm is loaded right as I hit a small updraft, fumble my pistol, and watch it fall...
Posted by Beau James on Fri, 17 Mar 2006 11:13:00 PST |
So I walk into this strip club, dressed to kill... |
...and obviously, I get the VIP treatment from the start because all the broads think I'm loaded. They're trying every trick in the book to get me to bite on a private dance... everything from "...
Posted by Beau James on Fri, 10 Mar 2006 07:01:00 PST |
So I'm relaxing in the park, sitting on a bench... |
...when me and several people around me start gradually rising upward. Some even begin speaking in tongues as a soft glow surrounds us, and we lift furthur up into the sky. It takes me...
Posted by Beau James on Fri, 24 Feb 2006 09:32:00 PST |
So I'm eating a can of Progresso Minestrone... |
...minding my own business, and this amazing sensation slowly starts coming over me-- a warmth that radiates gently from the center of my body until I can feel it in the tips of fingers. I feel ...
Posted by Beau James on Thu, 23 Feb 2006 06:02:00 PST |
So I'm cruising the Red Light District at about 2am... |
...and this friendly-looking rasta comes up and tries and sell me his product. Being the nice guy that I am, I listen to him give his spiel about what he's got and how much it all is... the...
Posted by Beau James on Sat, 18 Feb 2006 11:17:00 PST |
So I'm talking to this Yakuza sub-boss in a backalley in L.A... |
...and he says "LaManna, you got spunk. We could use a guy like you in our highly organized and brutally violent crime syndicate. I'll give you a 100 grand to join us right now." ...
Posted by Beau James on Fri, 10 Feb 2006 09:55:00 PST |
So I'm talking to my therapist... |
...and she says that I should be nicer because I belittle people when I talk to them. She says that because sarcasm is veiled anger, I'm a very angry person and could not possibly be happy with ...
Posted by Beau James on Tue, 31 Jan 2006 08:45:00 PST |
So I'm driving home from work... |
...and this big-ass F150 King Ranch comes flying up behind me doing at least a buck ten, swerving between traffic like a maniac, and sideswiping my brand new car along with several others.&n...
Posted by Beau James on Tue, 31 Jan 2006 05:12:00 PST |
So I'm sitting outside playing the guitar... |
...and I see this light in the sky. Being that I live next to an airbase, I didn't think much of it, but after a few seconds I realized it was hurtling out of the atmosphere straight toward...
Posted by Beau James on Sat, 28 Jan 2006 10:11:00 PST |
So I wake up with a midget strapped to my back... |
...with an extra-long phone cord and some duck tape, and he keeps tapping my shoulder, trying to get my attention. I think "you know, it's not everyday you've got a midget backpack" so I hu...
Posted by Beau James on Fri, 27 Jan 2006 09:31:00 PST |
