About Me
In first grade I told my entire class, teacher included, that my mother fell out of our van while it was moving and she was in the hospital in terrible condition; it was Christmas; I wanted friends and presents. I obtained both the friends and the presents until they obtained the truth. I did not learn how to tie my shoes until the second grade because in kindergarten I fumbled with the laces and miraculously made a sorry excuse for a knot. Throughout the course of elementary school I won seven coloring contests; I was the hippest kid on the block. One time I buried all of my Light Bright lights in my front yard so they could serve as buried treasure. When I went to dig them up, they were gone. In fifth grade I missed one week of school to go to Disney World where my parents bought me a hat because I got sun poisoning and I lost my purse three times. After that, I did not miss one day of school until my senior year of high school when Opa died and I attended his calling hours and funeral.
I am a little bit out of control sometimes; I like it that way. I do not have a middle name. I love punctuation and words that I struggle to pronounce. I dance to all the wrong beats in all the right songs; I do, however, have impeccable rhythm and will annihilate you in a dance-off. I hate the beach and most beach apparel…especially flip-flops. Show me brilliant bolts of lightning dancing across a pitch-black sky and thunder that sounds like one hundred trains ripping through time and colliding in the sky, and I will show you how to make astounding snicker doodle cookies that will make you drool. Sidewalk chalk has become a good friend of mine. I am so unbelievably furious that New Orleans was destroyed; I would give anything to go there and help clean up the rubble. I have two boxes of 120 crayons plus a few twenty-four-count boxes. My grandfather was Jewish; I have a cat that looks like Hitler and, consequently, I call him Hitler; he responds. I wear jeans every day no matter how close to the equator I get. I like mangos and Granny Smith apples but I hate green grapes. I have a preconceived notion that I am going to save the world, and I will. The fact that cancer exists really grinds my gears. I would die to be on What Not to Wear; everyone says they will nominate me; everyone lies. Take me to a city, any city, with buildings taller than I am and I will take you to see Big Jesus. I always look for shapes in the clouds and I always find something. I shudder at the sight of Magic Eye puzzles because the hidden image never shows up; I swear that they are fake. The first story I ever wrote was called The Day I Went Flying; I was four and I still have it. I draw, but not very well, on every piece of paper that is placed in front of me (namely robots, lightning bolts, bicycles, dinosaurs, jelly fish, rainbows, umbrellas, suns, and sail boats in water surrounded by shark fins). During the summer I lay on my driveway after the sun has set because the pavement is still warm. I was voted most unique of Wadsworth High’s class of ’06. The most times I have “skipped-it†in a row with my pink skip-it is 437-I will beat my record.
My name is Taylor, but most call me TD. Please direct any further inquiries or commentaries via AOL instant messenger.
Oh, I am also worth $2,436,676 on Humanforsale.com.hairy scary monster.
