N.A.T.E.

*Pirate talk cracks me up.*My life is pretty much perfect now, and seems to be getting better and better as the years go on...in five years I'll live in a house made out of solid gold and my toothbrush will be diamond studded.*The Victoria's Secret Fashion show is the super-bowl to me. I even get all liquored up and paint my face to watch it. "Yeee-ow!!! Get-r-done, Adriana!!!"*Four things that are always in my kitchen: Hummus, Chicken of the Sea, 8th Continent Light Soy Milk, at least 2 bottles of white wine.*Currently helping design Halogen and Flounce for Nordstrom. You know how you assume you won't have your 'dream job' till you're like 40? I got it now. Sucka.*I'm tired of talking about my lovelife and even more tired of people telling me about theirs.*"Christian" is a word even bad people know.*I jog 6-8 miles a day AND smoke like a sonofabitch.*If something is REALLY bothering me you won't hear about it; If somethings kind of annoying me- I'll tell you about it probably three times.*I went to the Art Institute of Seattle where I majored in chain-smoking. I had a minor in Fashion Design...*I attempted retail for about 2 months. Met some effin rad people, but learned (real quick) that I am THE WORST SALES PERSON EVERRR!*I spend my days living the life of a middle-aged father of two. Go to work M-F, but turn back into a 22-year-old male and live-it-up on the weekends. Lately my weekends have been starting on Wednesday though.*I am one of 6 people in the world who has always thought Mary-Kate Olsen has badass style (even before Nicole Richie started copying her...)*A good time to me is good conversation with good friends. Throw a gin martini and a full pack of camel ultra-lights in the mix and I'm set.*I have a relatively positive attitude about virtually everything, however my humor is rooted in cynicism; Very dry, very British. If this offends you, we probably won't be friends.*"Long Gone Before Daylight" by the Cardigans is the album that sums up the last few years of my life.*Sketching is my therapy.*I hate intelligent people who try to prove just how smart they are; I'm a relatively bright guy and act like the biggest moron in the world at times. I have nothing to prove.*David and Victoria Beckham should be king and queen of a yet-to-be-determined country. When that happens I will move there.*I am always up-to-date with popculture. For work and because I think it's interesting.*I drink soy lattes because dairy hates me, not because it's trendy.*People who treat wait staff badly should be punched in the neck.*My older sister, Melody, is the one person in the world who I will always count on.*I love Balance Bars.*I can name a few people who think the world of me and a few people who can't stand me and I respect both opinions.*I HATE people who can't spell or speak properly.*I have a variety of designer jeans in my closet, but Levi's Low-Rise Boot-cut jeans in a 29 x 32 were made to fit me.*It takes A LOT to actually anger me, but generally speaking, once you've reached this point it's damn near impossible to come back from it.*I love my life but you hang with downers, you'll get down.*I buy expensive clothes and wear them like I'm homeless. Some call it stylish, some hate it, it's a look nonetheless.*I have recently started putting myself before everyone--which may be the healthiest realization I've ever come to.*In short, my life is as close to perfect as one can get. If yours is too, Cheers! If it isn't, be jealous of me. Life is beautiful. ..