Hi, John McCririck here welcoming you to McCririck Place in deepest darkest Cambridgeshire (and yes it is a Conservative stronghold, none of this fannying about with compassion, leniancy and tolerance, its every man for himself around here).
For all the Socialist benefit cheats and foreigners who don't know who I am (probably because you're too busy suckling from your Government's oversized teat and mucking around with hashish) I am C4's figure head expert on horse racing. No one presents a more colourful image than me on British TV, absolutely not, no one. I love being down amoungst my beloved British public, that's where I come into my own with my trademark deerstalker hat, tweed jackets and grotesque sideburns. The British public love and respect stereotypical upper-class eccentrics like me. The same cannot be said for the EU beauoPRATS in Brussels who suck the wealth out of the rich and give it to do gooders causes like the UN and the starving in Africa.
I'm not just known for my horse racing genius, I have also delved into other areas of the British entertainment industry. In January 2005, I went into the Big Brother House where I had the displeasure of meeting that hideous cow Jackie Stallone, what a weirdo she was hey! I also had a run in with "Big Bother" about my rights as an Englishman, I'm not doing the show, absolutely not... I need my coke and milk. Read my contract. I'm also a keen poker player and I have taken part in numerous poker televised poker tournaments. My opponents always ask me, "John, how do I achieve such a good poker face?". The answer is simple, I think of our boys in Iraq and what a fine job they're doing. It always brings me to the edge of tears. The British public know history will prove that the gung hoesque US/UK invasion of Iraq was correct leaving Commie slimeballs like George Galloway and Gerry Adams to eat their own namsy pansy words.
On the 6th of August 2005 my bestest pal in the whole wide world the Right honourable Robert Cook (he was odds on he was) died. I may have only met him a couple of times in the toilets at Aintree but this still didn't stop me ruining his funeral by launching into a furious and, in many people's views, totally unjustified rant against Tony B-liar.....who is a weedy communist...Absolutely...No question... The British public know its time for a change and what better place to belch this truth out but at my buddy's funeral.
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