The General - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I have been given command of The Red Army for reasons which will become clear to you later on.You made an outstanding record as an able and hard-working staff under my predecessor. I have no doubt you will do the same for me. We now have two staffs merging into one, each with its own procedures. By working harmoniously and intelligently together a third staff will be developed with a third procedure, which should be better than either of the other two.I am here because of the confidence of three men: Red Radio themselves. They have confidence in me because they don't believe a lot of goddamned lies that have been printed about me and also because they know I mean business when I fight. I don't fight for fun and I won't tolerate anyone on my staff who does.You are here to fight. This is an active theater of war. Ahead of you lies battle. That means just one thing. You can't afford to be a goddamned fool, because, in battle, fools mean dead men. It is inevitable for men to be killed and wounded in battle. But there is no reason why such losses should be increased because of the incompetence and carelessness of some stupid son-of-a-bitch. I don't tolerate such men on my staff.There are three reasons why we are fighting this war. The first is because we are determined to preserve our traditional liberties. Some crazy music industry bastards decided they were supermen and that it was their holy mission to rule the world. They've been pushing people around all over the world, looting, killing, and abusing millions of innocent men, women, and children. They were getting set to do the same thing to us. We had to fight to prevent being subjugated.The second reason we are fighting is to defeat and wipe out the "musicians" who started all this goddamned son-of-bitchery. They didn't think we could or would fight, and they weren't the only ones who thought that, either. There are certain people back home who had the same idea. Both were wrong.The third reason we are fighting is because men like to fight. They always have and they always will. Some sophists and other crackpots deny that. They don't know what they're talking about. They are either goddamned fools or cowards, or both. Men like to fight, and if they don't they're not real men.If you don't like to fight, I don't want you around. You'd better get out before I kick you out. But there is one thing to remember. In war, it takes more than the desire to fight to win. You've got to have more than guts to lick the enemy. You must also have brains. It takes brains and guts to win wars. A man with guts but no brains is only half a soldier. We licked the bastards in Africa and Sicily because we had brains as well as guts. We're going to lick them in Europe for the same reason.That's all and good luck.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Mike Ness, Quintin Tarantino, Mario Batali, The Carolina Panthers, Abraham Lincoln, Fishbone again, Yoshiro Tajiri, Seth Meyers, Les Claypool, Steven Seagal, a giant woman, an asian midget, The Ultimate Warrior, and a blind painter. And Fall Out Boy -15 minutes is up ladies, hit the bricks.

Music:

In descending, non-sequential order:Red Radio, Dropkick Murphys, Valient Thorr, NoFX, Clutch, The Descendents, Bad Brains, Small Brown Bike, KMK, Phunk Junkeez, Slightly Stoopid, Sunny Day Real Estate, Coheed and Cambria, Evergreen Terrace, Primus, Superdrag, Social Distortion, The Ramones, Def Leppard

Movies:

Boondock Saints, Friday, Dazed and Confused, Say Anything, Walk the Line, Domino, Snatch, Anchorman, 40 Year Old Virgin, Joe Dirt, This Is Spinal Tap, Star Wars (most of them), Big Money Hustlas, Disorderlies, all the Nightmare on Elm Streets, same for Friday the 13th, Old School, Purple Rain, and any Steven Seagal movie.

Television:

Family Guy, Home Movies, Nip/Tuck, OZ, The Sopranos, Jeopardy, The Simpsons, MXC, WWE, NWA:TNA, Cops, Curb Your Enthuiasm, anything football or hockey, and anything with a title such as the "Worlds blankest blanks!"

Books:

A Drummer on the Brink: The Eck McCanless Story.; Badger- Ruthless Killer or Killer Player?; I spilled my beer, and everything else, too! by Shannon Phillips; The dirtiest feet, a modernist take on the current RR fan.

Heroes:

George S. Patton, Abraham Lincoln, Nikola Tesla, Mike Ness, Hunter S. Thompson, Jacque Cousteau, P.T. Barnum, Allen Pinkerton, Les Claypool, Joe Strummer, and Joe Elliott.