Jim - ProfilesArchive

About Me

This is an open letter to all the wonderful ladies out there who were just hoping to score an evening with Me.I don't know how to tell you this. I... well, I'm just no longer available I guess is the best way to put it. So button up that sweater and put on some long pants (your legs must be freezing!) I know you were hoping that I would let down my guard and have "crazy monkey love" with you, but, really, were you willing to listen to my insane rants about God and the New York Times and my Job and how the fucking Mets and Indians are both going into a slump at the same time for the express purpose of driving ME completely batshit insane? Were you really? We need only look at the absence of any "crazy monkey love" to see the truth.Oh, cross your legs, for decorum's sake.I know that you've been secretly wishing that I would rub my engorged member against your leg. It's okay to admit it. Rub is a funny word. You probably should have not laughed so hard, though, because that just reflects badly on you. How do you think you'll ever score a prime piece of manmeat like me with that behavior?Oh, please, get a bra, and cut down on the jiggling. I can see you.My ejaculate does not belong on your face, and I'm not going to tell you again, you hear me? How many times do I have to tell you this? Are you just trying to make me mad? I think you're just trying to make me mad. I should spank you. I should spank you hard. You'd like that, wouldn't you? Oh, yeah, baby, Ima gonna spanky spank spankWhich is what I would say if I wasn't already spoken for, you harlots.Harlots, every damn one of ya.Can we still be friends?

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

You. The one hiding behind that bush over there. I see you. Don't think I don't see you.

My Blog

Tiny Fingers

Silly gypsy heartall aflutter with your dreamsand the weight of the worldlike a jeweled butterfly.Why don't you lighton my tiny fingersand stay with me awhile?
Posted by on Thu, 07 Sep 2006 10:28:00 GMT

Women and Men

I've been having a lot of interesting conversations and thoughts and ideas about sex lately, about women and men. We're two sides of the same coin, and it's my belief that the differences betwee...
Posted by on Sun, 03 Sep 2006 01:48:00 GMT

we can be good, too

I still remember the nightthat I first made love to heras if it were tomorrow;Winter was holding on by the skin of its teethbut Spring insistedon coming,and crocuses peered up with hopeoutside her doo...
Posted by on Sat, 02 Sep 2006 08:04:00 GMT

Stars Without Night

I should have seen it coming, for months, in retrospect, she was coming with her smile, and the way she laughed, and the coyness in her eyes but I was unaware, or in disbelief, or trapped in the denia...
Posted by on Tue, 22 Aug 2006 15:40:00 GMT

Top Ten Facts!

You learn something new everyday, so in the interest of advancing your knowledge, I give you this Top Ten List of Facts about my penis that you probably don't know: 10. My penis can bench press up to ...
Posted by on Wed, 16 Aug 2006 08:26:00 GMT

Before Lunch

I awoke before dawn and let out a cry. Times awastin! Its going to be a busy day! I pulled on my sneakers and I roamed the streets, shouting out the news of the day. I cried of...
Posted by on Wed, 02 Aug 2006 05:54:00 GMT

Come Steal Me

Come steal me now,slip me in your pocket.The timing's perfectbecause I've been polished and scrubbedand today I shine like new.Don't miss the chance -now, when nobody's watchingand the critics upstair...
Posted by on Sat, 29 Jul 2006 09:08:00 GMT

Theme Songs Come, Theme Songs Go

Something's happened and I'm not sure what, but I woke up this morning thinking it was finally time to adopt another personal theme song. "Better Off Without A Wife" has served me well these past two ...
Posted by on Fri, 28 Jul 2006 08:06:00 GMT