About Me
This is a close account of pretty much the most interesting thing that ever happened to me in my short life.ARTHUR:
There! Look!
LAUNCELOT:
What does it say?
GALAHAD:
What language is that?
ARTHUR:
Brother Maynard! You are a scholar.
MAYNARD:
It's Aramaic!
GALAHAD:
Of course! Joseph of Arimathea!
LAUNCELOT:
'Course!
ARTHUR:
What does it say?
MAYNARD:
It reads, 'Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Arimathea. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the Holy Grail in the Castle of aaaaaagggh'.
ARTHUR:
What?
MAYNARD:
'...The Castle of aaaaaagggh'.
BEDEVERE:
What is that?
MAYNARD:
He must have died while carving it.
LAUNCELOT:
Oh, come on!
MAYNARD:
Well, that's what it says.
ARTHUR:
Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't bother to carve 'aaaaaggh'. He'd just say it!
MAYNARD:
Well, that's what's carved in the rock!
GALAHAD:
Perhaps he was dictating.
ARTHUR:
Oh, shut up. Well, does it say anything else?
MAYNARD:
No. Just 'aaaaaagggh'.
LAUNCELOT:
Aaaauugggh.
ARTHUR:
Aaaaaggh.
BEDEVERE:
Do you suppose he meant the Camaaaaaargue?
GALAHAD:
Where's that?
BEDEVERE:
France, I think.
LAUNCELOT:
Isn't there a 'Saint Aaauuves' in Cornwall?
ARTHUR:
No, that's 'Saint Ives'.
LAUNCELOT:
Oh, yes. Saint Iiiiives.
KNIGHTS:
Iiiiives.
BEDEVERE:
Oooohoohohooo!
LAUNCELOT:
No, no. 'Aaaauugggh', at the back of the throat. Aaauugh.
BEDEVERE:
N-- no. No, no, no, no. 'Oooooooh', in surprise and alarm.
LAUNCELOT:
Oh, you mean sort of a 'aaaah'!
BEDEVERE:
Yes, but I-- aaaaaah!
ARTHUR:
Oooh!
GALAHAD:
My God!
[dramatic chord]
[roar]
MAYNARD:
It's the legendary Black Beast of Aaauugh!
[Black Beast of Aaauugh eats BROTHER MAYNARD]
BEDEVERE:
That's it! That's it!
ARTHUR:
Run away!
KNIGHTS:
Run away!
[roar]
Run away! Run awaaay! Run awaaaaay!
[roar]
Keep running!
[boom]
[roar]
Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh!...
BEDEVERE:
We've lost him.
[roar]
KNIGHTS:
Aagh!
NARRATOR:
As the horrendous Black Beast lunged forward, escape for Arthur and his knights seemed hopeless, when suddenly, the animator suffered a fatal heart attack.
ANIMATOR:
Ulk!
[thump]
NARRATOR:
The cartoon peril was no more. The quest for Holy Grail could continue.
