Kristian

Yeah, sorry I've been off lately. New profile layout coming soon. In the meantime, here's the About Me:The details of my life are quite inconsequential. Where do I begin? My Father was a relentlessly, self-improving boulengerie owner from Belgium, with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My Mother was a 15 year old French prostititue named Chloe, with webbed feet. My Father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess, and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Ragoon, luge lessons. In the Spring, we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap sack and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really. At the age of 12, I received my first scribe. At the age of 14, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum. It's breathtaking. I suggest you try it.