MyZen

My invisible twin
I have a twin sister
That most don't know about
We grew in the same womb
Played in the same house When I was a baby
I really didn't know about her
We were already toddlers
When first we met each other For some reason,
With us she didn't stay
A lady Mrs. Fetall
Kept her not too far away Why she was with her,
I'm not sure you, see
They never spoke
About that part with me I always heard her name,
My fam they spoke about her
They said we would meet one day,
Maybe sooner, rather than later Sure enough
They were right,
She came once
And spent the night Pretty soon
She was a permant fixture,
In mine and
My family's picture Can't say I was happy
About this change
But soon I realized
She was here to stay At first she was real quiet,
Stayed to herself most the time
Seemd all she did was watch me,
And that suited me just fine As we both grew and got older
She started to come out of her shell
When she saw me, her eyes would smoulder
And I knew she didn't wish me well The more I lived life
And failed to succumb
The faster it seemed
Her own life came undone The only time she smiled
Was when I wasn't. See..
The only time she was happy
Was when I coudln't be Her very existance
Turned out to be my bane
What she viewed as sanity,
I could only see as insane
My gift to her was normality
Her gift , nothing but pain She was the master of trickery
Made me feel we were the best of freinds
Made me fee like all the bickering
Had finally come to an end She told me
We had the same dreams
Ones she'd support me in pursuing
Then when they were within reach,
She'd revel in what she helped ruin Man our battles are never ending
Short breaks...Follwed by session
After session of bloodletting I find my only solace
In brief intermissions
That last long enough,
For me to clear my vision
To take one more breath
And ask myself this question.. Was this the life I chose as punishment
For some past life "transgression? It only lasts long enough to... Pray that this will be the last streatch,
On this life long road of *sickle unrest I know I should love my sister
And blood is thicker than water
But damn, sometimes it seems
Blood drowns you so much faster
And instead of her hand
All she offers is her laughter Cuz she knows we're bonded by blood
And through me she runs..
And sometimes her attacks
Just leave me a shook one..
And I can't live without her,
Cuz without her i'm done So she must stay within me..
..and I must, just have faith..
..and continue to stand by ..
..and watch as she lays waste.. To.... My organs, my bones,
Even the very marrow
I escaped her before
But my escapes were very narrow
She keeps whisperin
Baby no ones promised tomorrow
But I can promise you
Infinite hours of sorrow It takes all that's in me,
Sometimes to just not listen,..
As she reads off the list..
Of all the things im missin..
The life i'll never have..
The baby I won't feel kickin..
The love I won't recive,..
Cuz the man he won't stand witness..
To the sickness that lives in me..
The sickness that is she...and ... Brief Intermission........*takes breath* So I take one more breath
Find the strength to keep on fighting
This bitch may got the the bark,
But my teeth were made for bitting God knows my body's tired
And my minds close to breaking,
But I still can't let my spirit
Or life get overtaken Don't want to get blinded
By the things she shows to me
So I close my eyes and.. Yes, I can see
And everything appears
So much brighter inside of me Now my sister starts to shake,
I can see she's scared now
I'm reaching out for my dreams,
..yea no fear now Life's right in front of me
And im ready to take my slice
Whip cream with all the toppings,
Lick my lips and take a bite
As she stares at me in surprise. She no longer has control,
Im staring in her eyes
The first time in my life,
I've seen my sister cry" My sister will never leave me,
She'll be with me all the time
I am in her blood
And she lives in mine
But now all she can do is watch me
....and that suits me just fine... They say blood is thicker than water,
And yes this is true
But sometimes blood,
Can drown you faster,
Than the ocean's tides will do
So if you havne't figured it out the sister in the poem is my Sickle Cell disease. There is a lil more info in my blog. If anyone has a questions or want to share an experience or story don't be afraid to drop a line.

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