Jesus Christ, Mark Twain, Albert Einstein, Charles Dickens, Buster Keaton, Harry Edsel Smith, J. S. Bach, Emily Dickinson (but would she even let me in the house?), Edgar Allan Poe, Salvador Dali, Drs. Johnson and Seuss, William Desmond Taylor, Mabel Normand, Harold Lloyd, Charles Chaplin, Keith Richards, Edna St. Vincent Millay, Abraham Lincoln, Jefferson Davis, Groucho Marx (he would insult me but it would be worth it), G. K. Chesterton, Paul McCartney, John Lennon (I admire his music, but don't get me started on his politics), Calvin Coolidge, Ronald Reagan, Gillian Anderson, Ann Coulter, Edmund Pearson, Beethoven, W. C. Fields, Speedy Atkins, Charles Schulz, E. C. Segar, Roger McGuinn, Hans Christian Andersen, Bruce Campbell, Ed Gein, Buddy Holly, Alfred Hitchcock, Ben Eshbach, Kiara Geller, Mel Blanc, Billy West, Tom Kenny, William Blake, Walt Disney, Steve Irwin (R.I.P.), Mick Jones, Stonewall Jackson, C. S. Lewis, Morrissey, Jack the Ripper, Laurel and Hardy, Syd Barrett, Kim Shattuck, Vincent Van Gogh, Cassius M. Clay, Johnny Ramone, Ray Davies, Dave Davies, Pete Townshend, Lewis Carroll, Tobe Hooper, Jimmy Stewart, Curly Howard, Christopher Lloyd, Father Damien, Larry the Cable Guy, Mike Judge, Ronnie Spector, Orson Welles, Tony Shalhoub, John Linnell, e e cummings, A. A. Milne, The MythBusters, the blonde chick in ABBA (please, God!), Jackie Chan, Chris Elliott, Rivers Cuomo, Johnny Cash, Le Petomane, Charles Addams, L. Frank Baum, Pee-wee Herman, Cyndi Lauper, Robert Pollard, Denise James. (More to be added as I think of them. Hey, you know what would be really interesting? A list of people we hope we NEVER meet!)PEOPLE I ACTUALLY HAVE MET: Lynn Hightower, famous mystery novelist; Eleanor Keaton, Buster's widow; Richard Kiel, who played the villain "Jaws" in the James Bond films; Joe King, a/k/a Joe Queer, leader of the great punk band The Queers; James "The Amazing" Randi, magician; Bernard Goldberg, former CBS correspondent and author of the bestseller "Bias," which blew the lid on liberal bias in the media--we got along famously; Chuck Barris, host of numerous 1970s game shows, particularly "The Gong Show."