If I had a car, oh the songs I would sing.
The Womanifesto for the Categorical New freedom Lady
When you see a really drunk girl leave a bar alone late at night and you follow her and make sure she gets into her taxi all right,
That’s self protection
When you aren’t afraid of looking like a supreme chickenshit and ask your friends to go into a public rest room with you because it creeps you out, but not for any tangible reasons
That’s self protection
When you are in a music store and you pick a CD by women musicians who have your back instead of by a bunch of boys who hog all the air time on the radio.
That’s self protection
When you are sitting on the bus and the man who sits next to you gives you a bad vibe and you get up and move to another seat without giving a rats ass about feeling like you’re being rude.
That’s self protection
When you find out which politician is supportive of women, lesbians, and motherhood and vote for her,
That’s self protection
When you look at all the beautiful women on TV and in magazines in the grocery store and think they are part of a weird industry run by men with major, major dick complexes.
That’s self protection
When you boycott all media not responsive in every way, shape and Freudian slip to women’s rights
That’s self protection
When you make a conscious effort to spend your money in establishments owned by women.
That’s self protection
Well you tell your dude if he can’t hold his wad until you’re damn well ready to come then he’s gonna hafta invest in a strap-on dildo of your choosing,
That’s self protection
When you ask for a raise
That’s self protection
When you insist everyone re-read pippi longstocking again,
That’s self protection
When you and your friends concoct plans of poetic guerrilla terrorism against a teacher, fellow student, co worker or boss who sexually harasses women.
That’s self protection
When you decide it’s in your best interest to worship a goddess who innately respects women.
That’s self protection
When you cook a gourmet, five course meal, no one but you will partake in,
That’s self protection
When you “accidentally†spill your drink on a man at a party who looks at your body rather vulpinely, and you don’t in the least appreciate it.
That’s self protection
When you educate yourself about clitordectomnies, infibulations, forced prostitution, rape as a war tactic and a way of controlling women, the nation of Islam, Judaism, Christianity, and prepatriarchal religions, the inquisition, woman painters, photographers, film markers, poetics, writers, activists, politicians, sex- industry workers, historians, archeologists, and musicians.
That’s self protection
When you read, then watch the bandit queen
That’s self protection
When you massage your friend because she’s PMSing hard.
That’s self protection
When you keep a tire iron by your front door
That’s self protection
When you buy a pull-up bar and install it in a doorway you pass constantly so you end up doing pull ups all the time, even though you used to think you couldn’t do pull ups
That’s self protection
When you dance, run, jump, buy yourself a birthday cake even though your birthday’s five months away, cavort, kiss all the girls you love, laugh, sing, shout, jump rope, ding-dong ditch the house of someone who gets on your nerves, swing, climb trees, pick your nose in public, daydream, eat with your fingers, break something on purpose, fart loud, skip and pin your friends to the ground and tickle them
That’s self protection
Every time you look in the mirror and your heart races
Because you think
“I’m so fucking radâ€
That’s self protection
Protect your self.
By Inga Musico.
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