Kyle Van Tassel was born on July 25th 1989, in Harvard Illinois. He was the third in a line of 3 brothers. His father was a teacher at the time and had earlier left this illustrious position in the social hierarchy to persue a more formatible career in the furniture business.
Having failed at the attempted career change Alan Van Tassel moved to Moreno Valley, California to teach. He made the trip alone. He eventually got a job teaching English at Bloomington Highschool. He then convinced his wife Karen Van Tassel to move herself and the 3 boys to California with him.
So our hero, at the bright age of two, was driven cross country which was to be the first of his great trips across the nation. Perhaps this was an omen for the greatness that he would someday achieve.
For the next couple years the parents and teachers noticed that Kyle was nothing really special and had limited abilities in the area of language and mathmatics. One teacher even suggested him retarded. It may be noted that Kyle was attending a christain private school for kindergarden and pre-school and that is where these opinions had come from. And one should know, this was no ordinary private school. The teachers at this private school were required to have little or no education on the subject of sculpting young minds in order to get a job there. So it can be said that these views can immediately be thrown out the proverbial window.
Kyle was then taken out of private school, put in public school, then put back in private school. This time he would be sent to a private school for the artistically excelled. This of course was a viewed as a mistake and was swiftly corrected when teachers and parents realized that he was the modern day Saleari.
Yes it's true that our hero was, is and always will be "no artist". As it happened it would be discovered throughout the whole of his life that he was great at nothing. Yes, our most noble hero was doomed to a life of mediocrity. His mediocrity was only compounded my his outstanding ability to procrastinate. As a matter of fact, it's amazing that he ever amounted to anything past a mid-level office worker.
After Mr. and Mrs. Van Tassel realized that there son was to win no nobel prizes in his lifetime, or so they thought, they continued him in public schools where he suffered a spleel of half-assed teachers. But alas the day came when he graduated from Redlands Highschool in the year of 2007.
So there he was, at the threshold of a new world, this world being the "adult world".finish later
