angry-gnome

I was born in the Land of Gnomes, which is an island in another dimension, somewhere near Micronesia. I lived a simple, yet happy life. Until one day the evil corporate hunters arrive on mo-peds and captured many of us. We were put in shackles and into crates, then flown overseas. Many gnome lives were lost in these terrible travels. It still turns pains in me to remember. The few of us that did survive were put on shelves in different evil corporations, sold for slavery. Most bought in these places were put to work in the yards of middle class family in the land of suburbia. I was one of the more fortunate ones. A girl named Alice bought me for $6.99, on sale at Wal-greens. So now I'm her bodyguard at New York Hard Core Tattoos, in New York City, where she works as a tattoo artist. Sure I have some anger management issues. I will admit that. Sometimes i throw around her paintings, or knock things off the wall. I have chased a couple customer out of the shop with my hammer and chisel, but they were jerks anyway. They were totally asking for it. I also help Alice with her publicity, for she is completely incompetent when it comes to computers. I swear I dont even know how she would get by without me, but noooo she gets all the credit. so she can do tattoos, big friggin deal....