PANSAS

WHATS GOOD FOLKS? WELL FIRST OF ALL LET INTRODUCE MYSELF. I'M 24, MY NAME IS ESTEVAN MENDOZA. PEOPLE I GREW UP WITH OR WENT TO SCHOOL WITH (PASCO HIGH) KNOW ME AS 'PANSAS'. WHERE IM AT, THEY KNOW ME AS "PASCO" OR "WA". TO MY LOVED ONES AND FRIENDS "KEEP YOUR HEAD UP ONLY DOWN WHEN YOU PRAY". THOSE ARE WORDS ARE FROM THE HOMIE "SMOKIE" LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY PAST. AT THE AGE OF 13 YRS I BEGAN TO LOSE MY LIFE. I STARTED GETTING HIGH & DRUNK. WHEN MY MOM WAS AT WORK I WOULD HAVE BBQ's WITH THE HOMIES. THEN IT GOT WORSE, I BEGAN TO STEAL MY MOMS CAR TO GO TO WEDDINGS, QUINCES' & HOUSE PARTIES. I WOULD HANG OUT WITH GANG MEMBER, DRUG DEALERS (THESE WERE THE PEOPLE AT THE PARTIES) WE WOULD GET HIGH, DRUNK 7 BE DOING THINGS GOD ONLY KNOWS, WE CALLED "FUN". AT 17 I LIVED BY MYSELF. I HAD HOUSE PARTIES AT THE FLAMINGO VILLAGE (MY OLD HOOD) EVERYTHING YOU CAN IMAGINE WAS THERE. BEER, TEQUILA, DRUGS & MORE, THINGS WOULD HAPPEN THERE...(I DONT KNOW HOW WE ALL DID THEM) COPS KNEW MY PLACE, ALWAYS GETTING BUSTED. EVERYONE WOULD CLEAR OUT FOR A MINUTE THEN THEY ALL CAME BACK. (TO THE HOMIES & FEMALES, YOU KNOW WHAT WENT DOWN) NO JOKE. TO THE HOMIE I TALKED TO, REMEMBER YOUR 18TH YOU WENT TO WORK ALL HIGH & DRUNK! YOU WERE CRAZY, QUE NO? MY HOUSE ALSO WAS A RING FOR PEOPLE TO FIGHT WHO DIDN'T GET ALONG. BY 18 I WAS IN COUNTY JAIL IN PASCO & KENN. I WOULD BE LOCKED UP FOR FALSE INFO, DUI, UNPAID FINES, & WARRANTS. THEN I STARTED SELLING DRUGS IN IDAHO. A HOMEBOY AND ME WOULD DO OUR THANG. MAKE MONEY. DIDNT KNOW IF WE WOULD HAVE TO TAKE SOMEONE OUT FOR NOT PAYING OR IT THEY WOULD WANT TO TAKE US OUT FOR THE JUNK. BUT I WANTED $, SO I DID (WE DID) WHAT WE HAD TO MAKE FERIA. IT ALL CAME TO AN END FEB.18.05. THAT NIGHT IT FELT LIKE A MOVIE. AS I PULLED UP, I SAW PEOPLE WALKING WITH FLASHLIGHTS. IT DIDNT CLICK UNTIL I HEARD "FREEZE PUT YOUR HANDS UP" MAN IT WAS THE TASK FORCE. COP GUNS DRAWN TO MY HEAD. I WAS ARRESTED FOR TRAFFICING METH. SAD PART IS MY MOM GOT CALLED. "YOUR SON IS IN JAIL FOR SELLING DRUGS" HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOUR MOM GOT A PHONE CALL & SHE HAD NO IDEA OF WHAT YOU WERE DOING. IT IS SAD. I WAS BAILED OUT & THE COPS HAD 6 CHARGES AGAINST ME. I FOUGHT THEM FOR 9 MONTHS. I WAS MAD I STARTED DRINKING A LOT! GOING TO HOUSE PARTIES BUT MOSTLY THE CLUBS, I WAS 21. I STILL DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO DO OR THINK. ONE NIGHT I ENDED UP GOING TO CHURCH W/ AN OLD PASTOR OF MINE WHEN I WAS A YOUTH. HE SHARED HIS TESTIMONY. THAT WAS IT! I TOLD GOD I WOULD GIVE HIM MY LIFE. THE devil DIDN'T LIKE THAT. MY OLD ATTORNEY TOLD THAT THE FEDS ARE COMING TO GET ME IF I DON'T TAKE A DEAL. I SAID NOPE, NO DEAL. NOV.16.06 MY COURT DATE THE FBI, PICKED US UP. AWARDED A NEW ATTORNEY, "THEY ARE GIVING YOU 30 YRS". I TOLD HIM "AND? ITS IN GODS HANDS" PEOPLE TRIPPED OUT. THEY ALSO HAD 6 CHARGES 5 OF THEM ARE 10 YRS A PEICE & THE OTHER ONE WAS A 5 YR ADDITION. SO I BEGAN FIGHTING THE CASE, U.S. vs Estevan Mendoza. No not WA against me, The World vs Me. After a year they came up with a deal 6-8 yrs! Sounds better than 30 huh? So I signed & my boy took 14. But on Nov.6.07 I was told that I would have to speak about people to guarentee that deal. I said NO! The judge gave me 120 months (10yrs) Now Im in a 6x10 cell with another guy. We sleep on bed bunks. Everywhere I walk, all I see is surenos, nortenos, paisas (mexican immigrants) woods, blacks & I dont know if they are killers, drug dealers, thieves or what? I got to be around them for the remaining of my sentence. I still trust God, No Doubt! THIS IS ALL IN GODS HANDS. WHO KNOWS I GET OUT SOONER. BUT THIS IS MY PAST IN THE PRESENT. I JUST ASK WHO EVER MAY READ THIS TO LOOK AT YOUR OWN LIFE & ASK YOURSELF "IS WHAT IM DOING WORTH IT" IF ITS BEING A 'GANGSTA', 'DEALER', A USER (DRUGS, SEX, WHATEVER) IS IT? DOES GOD WANT YOU GIVING YOUR LIFE AWAY? YOU CAN THINK "IT WONT HAPPEN TO ME" YEA, I SAID THAT & LOOK WHERE IM AT. PRISON. I PRAY YOU TAKE THE TIME & SEE WHAT GOD HAS FOR YOU IN LIFE. REMEMBER TOMORROW ISN'T PROMISED. LIVE FOR GOD. THERE IS A BETTER WAY OF LIVING.If you want to know more about me or decide to write my info is:ESTEVAN MENDOZA 13117-023 RB FEDERAL CORRECTIONAL INSTITUTUION PO BOX 800, HERLONG CA 96113I PRAY THAT YOU PICK JESUS AS YOUR LORD & PERSONAL SAVIOR. GOD BLESS YOU ALL. LIKE THE HOMIE DOING TIME "KEEP YOUR HEAD UP, ONLY DOWN WHEN YOU PRAY'. AND TO MY BROTHER WHO I LOVE A LOT. KEEP YOUR EYES ON GOD, NOT MAN. IS HIS SAYING. GO FOR TRUE LOVE "JESUS CHRIST" Christian Myspace Layouts - Cross MySpace Layouts Christian Myspace Layouts