James Keller profile picture

James Keller

beneaththekilt

About Me

Hello Viewer. What you are about to see is a play within a play. Take a breath and hold on. You're about to experience the ride of your life.

Links: MySpace Themes | Online Dating

My Interests

I do things. I've been playing guitar for nine years, piano for four. I write many things. I act, both stage and screen. I'm working towards a certification as a Radiology Technologist. I love poetry and... I love Baxter.

I'd like to meet:

you in a dark alley.but let's be serious for one damn minute... I'd like to meet the person that invented the jars of marshmallow fluff... in a dark alley.

Music:

Iron and Wine, Jose Gonzalez, My Morning Jacket, Sufjan Stevens, Doves, Sigur Ros, Godspeed You Black Emperor, Explosions in the Sky, Bonnie Prince Billy, VAST, Red House Painters, Sun Kil Moon, Seu Jorge, Pink Floyd, Radiohead, David Bowie, Bruce Springsteen, Jackson Browne, Jurassic 5, Gorillaz, Coastal, The Sea and Cake, Mogwai, Muddy Waters, John Lee Hooker, Alaska!, Lismore, Inner Air, Bright Eyes, Portishead, Sneaker Pimps, Aberdeen, Adem, Alaska in Winter, James Keller, Andrew Bird, Antony and the Johnsons, Apollo Sunshine, August Anchor, Arlo Guthrie, Simon and Garfunkel, Ben Harper, Bedroom Walls, Bedroom Heroes, Bach, Sor, Alvarez, Mozart, Vivaldi, Chopin, Jump Little Children, Wilco, Jeffrey Foucault, Death Cab for Cutie, Postal Service, Redbird, Peter Cincotti, Diana Krall, Count Basie, Dizzy Gillespie, Miles Davis, Thelonious Monk, Ben Weaver, Blackout Gorgeous, Brave Combo, Broken Robots, Capital City, Castanets, Damien Rice, David Berkeley, Del Sol String Quartet, Jiggy J Bones, Philip Glass, Don Peris, Kavkasia, Rustavi, Ed Harcourt, Rufus Wainwright, Eels, EF, Ella Fitzgerald, Billie Holiday, Third Uncle, Eleventh Dream Day, The Lights from Here, Eva Cassidy, Fifth-Quarter AllStar, Flaming Lips, Flogging Molly, The Four Tops, Gary Jules, Glory Fades, Gravenhurst, Greenhaus, Grizzly Bear, The Haze Project, Hilmar Orn Hilmarsson, The Human Echo, Humungo Ginormous, Stephen Lynch, Hymies Basement, Johnny Cash, Jorane, Josh Ritter, Kepler, Linear High, Loss of a Child, Lullaby for the Working Class, Mahogany Frog, Man Man, The Mercury Program, The Moody Blues, Nick Cave, Nick Drake, Nine Inch Nails, Oceanographer, Pearl Jam, People for Audio, Pilotdrift, Rachael Yamagata, Radar Bros., Turin Brakes, The Sleeping Planes, Snowy, Sofamecca, Soundgarden, Six Parts Seven, Squirrel Nut Zippers, TRS-80, P.J. Harvey, Us and Them, The Verve, Wilco, Woody Guthrie, The Who, Hot Chip, Beirut, Devotchka, and Zoviet France. Jiminy crickets, that's a lot! (www.ghetto-blaster.com)

Movies:

16 Years of Alcohol, The Life Aquatic, The Royal Tenenbaums, Pink Floyd's The Wall, Big Fish, Schindler's List 2: Let's Get This Party Started, Pulp Fiction, Braveheart, Boondock Saints, Way of the Gun, Crash, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, I Heart Huckabees, The Count of Monte Cristo, Gladiator, What Dreams May Come, Resevoir Dogs, Memento, Love Liza, Vanilla Sky, Snatch, Lock Stock and Two Smokin' Barrels, Suicide Kings, Napoleon Dynamite, The Last Samurai, 28 Days Later, Maria Full of Grace, Trainspotting, A Clockwork Orange, Dirty Filthy Love. many more to come!

Television:

Instead of TV, here's some awesome comedians: Zach Galifianakis, Dane Cook, Maria Bamford, Eddie Izzard, Stephen Lynch, Jim Gaffigan, Brian Regan, Brian Posehn, Patton Oswald, Demetri Martin, Nick Swardson, Jerry Seinfeld, David Spade, Dana Carvey, Andy Samberg, Johnny Sanchez, Mitch Hedberg, Dave Chapelle, Frank Caliendo... more to come!

Books:


You're a Shot of Whiskey!
What Type of Alcoholic Beverage Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You scored as William Wallace. The great Scottish warrior William Wallace led his people against their English oppressors in a campaign that won independence for Scotland and immortalized him in the hearts of his countrymen. With his warrior's heart, tactician's mind, and poet's soul, Wallace was a brilliant leader. He just wanted to live a simple life on his farm, but he gave it up to help his country in its time of need.

William Wallace


100%

Maximus


83%

Lara Croft


83%

Indiana Jones


75%

Captain Jack Sparrow


71%

James Bond, Agent 007


58%

The Amazing Spider-Man


58%

Neo, the "One"


50%

El Zorro


46%

Batman, the Dark Knight


46%

The Terminator


29%
Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com
You Belong in Dublin
Friendly and down to earth, you want to enjoy Europe without snobbery or pretensions.
You're the perfect person to go wild on a pub crawl... or enjoy a quiet bike ride through the old part of town. What European City Do You Belong In?
You Should Be a Film Writer
You don't just create compelling stories, you see them as clearly as a movie in your mind.
You have a knack for details and dialogue. You can really make a character come to life.
Chances are, you enjoy creating all types of stories. The joy is in the storytelling.
And nothing would please you more than millions of people seeing your story on the big screen! What Type of Writer Should You Be?
You Are Guinness
You know beer well, and you'll only drink the best beers in the world.
Watered down beers disgust you, as do the people who drink them.
When you drink, you tend to become a bit of a know it all - especially about subjects you don't know well.
But your friends tolerate your drunken ways, because you introduce them to the best beers around. What's Your Beer Personality?
Your Inner Child Is Happy
You see life as simple, and simple is a very good thing.
You're cheerful and upbeat, taking everything as it comes.
And you decide not to worry, even when things look bad.
You figure there's just so many great things to look forward to. How Is Your Inner Child?
Your Daddy Is George Clinton
What You Call Him: Old Man
Why You Love Him: He takes you to Disneyland Who's Your Daddy?
Your Dominant Intelligence is Musical Intelligence
Every part of your life has a beat, and you're often tapping your fingers or toes. You enjoy sounds of all types, but you also find sound can distract you at the wrong time. You are probably a gifted musician of some sort - even if you haven't realized it. Also a music lover, you tend to appreciate artists of all kinds.You would make a great musician, disc jockey, singer, or composer. What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?..
Get your own countdown at BlingyBlob.com
You scored as G.O.B.. You are an illusionist. You sleep with random people just to make people jealous. You've made a number of huge mistakes.

G.O.B.


100%

Michael


69%

George, Sr.


63%

Tobias


56%

Lucille


44%

Maeby


44%

Buster


31%

Lindsay


25%

George Michael


13%
"Arrested Development": Which Character Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com

Heroes:

...are awesome sandwiches.

My Blog

RAPPING, the USSR?, and bologna sammiches

MIC CHECK ONE TWO COMIN' AT YA AND I'M BRINGING MY CREW FUCK DA HOES AND FUCK YOU TOO I THINK I GOTTA GO TAKE A POO *sigh* I don't think this rapping thing is ever going to take off... When the heck ...
Posted by James Keller on Fri, 30 Mar 2007 06:50:00 PST

bridges, bee-keepers, and hotdogs

I've learned that no matter the width, 'tis the length of the bridge that is important. The infamous "They" say that beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.  So heeding "their" great "wis"dom, I ...
Posted by James Keller on Thu, 22 Mar 2007 10:45:00 PST

Fiber, Grandma, and the Sock Genocide

Your butt called.  It misses your friend, Fiber. "My, what big eyes you have, Grandma," said Flyboy. Everyone thought it odd that Mikey had hidden his socks in the back yard.  What they...
Posted by James Keller on Thu, 06 Apr 2006 09:43:00 PST

there was no way i could resist this:


Posted by James Keller on Sun, 12 Mar 2006 01:07:00 PST

"as the world turns," man-brain hotpocket, and basket weaving.

is it just me, or was yesterday's episode of "as the world turns" just stellar? when cooking your man-brain hotpocket: remember to flip the pastry to ensure thorough cooking.  you don't want a ca...
Posted by James Keller on Sat, 11 Mar 2006 01:09:00 PST

Curly wigs, Dolly Parton, and the Egyptians

Tommy thought his new shoes were too big, but indeed it was his curly wig that was too big. Pancakes / (Billy Graham + leg warmers) = Dolly Parton My recent discovery that Egyptians live in houses tot...
Posted by James Keller on Thu, 23 Feb 2006 06:34:00 PST

snarling teeth, sean connery, and an Example Question

Her eyes and her body yearned for my touch, but her snarling teeth wanted more. It's a little known fact that if Sean Connery shaves his beard, he looks like Queen Elizabeth. Example: Peanut Butter is...
Posted by James Keller on Thu, 09 Feb 2006 07:40:00 PST

Salmon pants, knives, and "the flaming unicycle incident"

Bill told me he liked my pink pants.  Salmon pants, Bill.  They're called "salmon" pants. I told Jackie that nothing in the world would stop me from loving her.  As it turns out, knive...
Posted by James Keller on Sat, 04 Feb 2006 10:28:00 PST

A little message for my lady friends:

Enjoy this one, ladies.
Posted by James Keller on Sat, 04 Feb 2006 11:07:00 PST

Safe sex, sparkly man-thongs, and peanut butter and pickle sandwiches.

Practice safe sex. Wear your floaties. A word of advice to Hecht's: In the future, James Keller recommends not putting the rack of sparkly man-thongs right next to the expensive dress clothes.  N...
Posted by James Keller on Wed, 25 Jan 2006 02:33:00 PST