Hi, my name is Samantha Baker. There are so many things that I would like to say but in the end they all seem so unimportant. I just graduated from High School, and am living it up. There are so many things about me that so many people don't really know and will probably never know. I am so afraid to let people in, to see the real me because in the end I always get hurt. I thought that my ex-boyfriend could do no wrong. I have known this guy for so many years and he knew exactly what to say to make me fall head over heals but in the end all he wanted to do was fuck with my head. He was successful. I don't know how to explain to people(guys)why I can't be with someone right now and still be able to find out who I truely am. I was with someone for a long time then right after we broke up I started dating someone else. I was afraid to be alone, not to have that someone that I could fall back onto when I didn't want to deal with anyone else. Then I pushed my limits way to far. I started fighting with my family about dating a 30 year old because I knew what I was doing and he was great, I mean there was no way that a grown man could act like he was in middle school right? WRONG!!! After we broke up I realized that I was afraid to be alone and I don't want to be one of those girls that has to be with someone just because she can't be alone. I now realize that even when I am single I still have so many people that would catch me if I ever fell, and would always be around if I needed them. I have such amazing friends and I don't think that I could apoligize enough to them to make them understand that I am so sorry about the way I treated them when I was with someone. I pushed everyone away because he was to afraid that I was going to sleep with all of them, guess he should have trusted me more I am not one to cheat and he should have known that for how long he has known me. Anyway, I am just venting. More about myself, well I am so full of myself lately and I love it I feel more confident in myself which is pushing me to do things that I never would have done before or at least would have hated doing. It is so much easier to be yourself and I think that everyone should try it for one day just 24 hours not bullshit all honesty in the end I think that it would help alot of people. What doesn't kill you can only make you stronger!!
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