A.I.

To my angel: You are the essence of strength, you are the embodiment of a strong black woman. You never waited, you made it happen. You taught me how to fight, how to survive, how to love, how to live. I wish we had you for longer, and I cherish the moments we shared. I know you are alive in me and all of us, but I can't help but miss you. I love you. The Clique: Ms. Esquire, Sasha, Oshun, Michelle, Alicia, Charlene and Karen. To all of my beautiful friends who have shown me the meaning of REAL friendship and love in all of its genuineness. I LOVE YOU!
“Rollins” Clique: MissMaganBC and SBeezy

Quotes from the Clique:
“Should’ve, Would’ve, Could’ve, But Now you Can’t. The Diaries of Ms. Senior Executive Boo.” –Oshun, on the announcement of my new job to an old loser

"Y'all need to find some men with some money."-My Mom, on dating advice to Yours Truly and Ms. Esquire after a tall glass of Merlot
“You’re just going to have to lie.” –Ms. Esquire, on relationship advice

“The key is not to maul him until the third or fourth date” –Sasha, on dating

“As the minority representative for your organization, I would like for you to know I take my position very seriously and will therefore not show up to work on time and will take very long lunch breaks.”-Oshun, on Corporate America

“Will you be my sugar mama? I’ll let you buy me a short set, but I’d honestly prefer an X5.” –Yours truly, on Charlene’s “bossy” status

“I’m a lil’ sick wit it.” –Michelle, on any given day

“Throw a drink on him. But then you’re going to have to run away.” –Ms. Esquire on legal revenge

“I want to be something sexy with a hint of skank.” –Yours truly, on the perfect Halloween costume

"For what? It's not going to grow!" -Alicia, on the tater tot epidemic

“You don’t speak ‘loser’. That’s why you can’t understand what he’s saying.” -Charlene

"Well, actually, I'm on the fast track to partner." -MissMaganBC , on the promotion of a job she hasn't started yet

“Oh my God, you’re making the hungry face! Please, go get some French fries.” –Charlene

"So, I figure, if I can make a C on the test, then I'ma come over so you can tutor me for extra credit, so I can get an A" -Michelle, on physics
“Do it. Do it. Boo.” – a Yours Truly rendition of the Cherish song after one too many
“Girl, I got to get to this puff first.” –Miss MaganBC, on blow drying my now permless hair

"WHOA!" –The Clique

“Did you feel that? I think Atlanta just had an earthquake.” –SBeezy, on natural disasters

“I'm walkin' in that mothaf#### and shootin' everything movin' "–Charlene, on the ultimate revenge

“He needs to kick rocks.” Miss MaganBC, on anyone who sucks

“O-kay-kay-kay!!” –The Clique

Clique Phrases and Favorite Words:

Black Woman Syndrome (BWS): The act of older black women hating on women younger than they are due to complete dissatisfaction with their figures, job positions and/or number of children. Symptoms are particularly displayed after an interaction with a “clique” member in reaction to our ever present display of natural fabulousness.

Fu#kery: A noun used to describe nonsensical, selfish, foolish actions, usually displayed by a male.

Great: Response often used by a clique member after every story or statement

Food: The Clique is a strong supporter of anything relating to nourishment, particularly fattening and greasy kinds. The best way to our hearts? Steak n’ Shake and a Harry Winston Diamond.

Fabulous: It’s who we are

Ummm/Soooo: Often used preceding a story to emphasize the magnitude of its content

Keep it Moving: What we do and say when a member of the opposite sex has executed pure fu#kery in a dating situation. We do this one VERY well. NO ONE is irreplaceable—Beyonce speaks the truth.

The Third Day: Referencing the one thing that will universally please a woman

Wait a Tick: Referencing one of our favorite movies, it usually precedes a comment we must think twice about.

Womp Womp Womp: A perfect phrase for expressing rejection or denial of any kind, can be interchanged with BOOONNKK

Tough Crowd: Often used to describe a person or group of people plainly not amused by our words or actions. Most usually used with one another in a moment when a clique member is in a bad mood or mad at someone else.

A Mess: Anyone or anything that simply cannot be described otherwise. Not to be confused with a hot a## mess, which usually refers to a bad fashion decision or something extreme that can’t be put into words.

Code Red: A phrase to alert other clique members that someone is experiencing severe emotional distress. Can be interchanged with 'Code Yellow' for a less severe situation.

Pet peeves: Liars, cowards, indecency and disrespect. Oh! And selfish, unreliable people. Funny, I think I just spelled a three letter word that starts with “M”. . . . .

Other thoughts: Intellect is a reflection of inner and outer maturity and knowledge, it is NOT related to speaking on how much you think you know. Conversate is NOT a real verb in the English language. Conjugate the verb “to be” properly. Impress with actions not words. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Every action has a consequence, so don’t be mad if your action knocked you off my cool list, it’s not my fault! University of Pennsylvania is an ivy league school, it is NOT PENN STATE. TEXTING is NOT A REAL FORM OF COMMUNICATION, so don’t even try and hold a conversation with me via a phone keypad. It’s a privilege to be in my life, not a requirement. Don’t make me mad, it’s not a good look to be on my bad side. God don’t like ugly.

Things that have “A.I.” written all over them: Locking my keys in the car; being perpetually late no matter where I go or how early I leave; getting stuck behind Marta buses, even the ones not in service; showing everything that I’m thinking on my face; locking myself in my homeboy’s bathroom at his house by accident and banging on the door until his brother rescued me; listening to crunk music really loud in Natalie ALL the time, even at 7 a.m.; being hungry, even after I eat; being impatient and getting easily annoyed, particularly when things aren’t going my way; being the most entertaining lush you’ll ever meet; turning the heat on slaveship hell in the winter and claiming “I’m anemic”; not paying attention to my surroundings, or much of anything for that matter; being a “time Nazi” for the clique when we’re running late to a party; throwing up kisses for good luck after I run yellow lights; flashing everyone in Steak n’ Shake by accident at 3 a.m.; being the only person in the world that got grounded for not practicing the piano in high school; making even the most unappetizing food sound like it tastes good; talking on the phone, 24/7; my 24th birthday party; “pretty boys”, go figure; never telling someone the first fifty times they ask me what I’m upset about; speeding, even when I’m not in a rush; being a social butterfly; trusting people even when they don’t deserve it; and lastly, being a genuinely thoughtful, loyal person who somehow manages to believe that there really are some good people still left in the world.

My mantra: The Tenth Spiritual Gift of Good-bye: When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. The Bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]