Spider-Man. Jesus. No not Jesus, what's his name? Oh yeah- Optimus Prime
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Ted "the american dream" Brogan
Birthday: nope
Birthplace: vagina
Current Location: Sitting at a computer
Eye Color: Bloodshot
Hair Color: light
Height: 5-11
Right Handed or Left Handed: Righty Tighty
Your Heritage: Thats a racist question
The Shoes You Wore Today: Cowboy Boots covered in Jewels. Jealous?
Your Weakness: Kryptonite. No wait, I mean Hot Wings.
Your Fears: Spiders, Cows, big ants, Germans, Italians, The Dark, Second Hand Smoke, 3rd hand smoke, The ghost of Kirk Cameron, Ferrets
Your Perfect Pizza: Extra Cheese and Ferret sausage
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Outliving Kirk Cameron
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: OLKC
Thoughts First Waking Up: I win again KC!
Your Best Physical Feature: My deep bellybutton
Your Bedtime: Come on man, I'm in my late 20s. I go to bed when I want! Or just when the Nyquil and gin mix
Your Most Missed Memory: Well if I missed it, how could I remember it?
Pepsi or Coke: I'm drug free
MacDonalds or Burger King: Clowns and Freaky Royals Scare the shit out of me.
Single or Group Dates: Who dates?
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Thats a pretty dumb question right there.
Chocolate or Vanilla: this is getting boring
Cappuccino or Coffee: I'm straight sooooo.. Ya know
Do you Smoke: The bengals better make the playoffs next year.
Do you Swear: I Swear they blew it this year.
Do you Sing: I chant
Do you Shower Daily: Nightly
Have you Been in Love: Oh yeah
Do you want to go to College: I did. It did nothing for me except meet people and teach me life lessons and get me a degree which I then used to help get me a job. Stupid College
Do you want to get Married: I did. To my wife
Do you belive in yourself: Is this like an existential "Prove you exist" question? Cause if it is, Im not sure I can do the math
Do you get Motion Sickness: Only when I move
Do you think you are Attractive: In like a rugged manly way? No. In a TV sitcom where the King of Queens and George Costanza can date models kind of way. Still no
Are you a Health Freak: No. A cup of my own urine in the morning and Im as healthy as I need to be
Do you get along with your Parents: I do
Do you like Thunderstorms: While snuggling by a fireplace
Do you play an Instrument: the Cock-Flute
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Does urine count?
In the past month have you Smoked: If your my insurance agent, then no.
In the past month have you been on Drugs: See above
In the past month have you gone on a Date: My wife would not like that
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: I did, and I almost blew my brains out. It is everything I hate about this country in one convinient location
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: Who does that? "Oh I got so upset I just ate a whole box of oreos!" Thats not real
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: A lot. Doesn't everybody eat sushi on Boxing Day?
In the past month have you been on Stage: Come on
In the past month have you been Dumped: This is getting fucking repetitive. I told you Im married you stupid quesionaire!
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: Its January
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: Some Hearts. Zing!..................No, no I havn't stolen anything.
Ever been Drunk: On my own sense of self-satisfaction
Ever been called a Tease: What guy besides porno actors has ever been called a tease?
Ever been Beaten up: By a couple of Porno actors. They were mad because I called them teases.
Ever Shoplifted: No
How do you want to Die: Public Decapitation. With a crowd no less than 50,000 cheering for my head. Then when my body stops flapping around, silence. Only now do they see the errors in Public Decapitations
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Publicly Decapitated
What country would you most like to Visit: Alaska
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Pass
Favourite Hair Color: Brown
Short or Long Hair: Long. I don't like dudes
Height: no taller than me. I get intimidated easily
Weight: <80lbs. I like em thin
Best Clothing Style: Victorian
Number of Drugs I have taken: How the hell does that relate to what I like in a girl? "Well I like her but she has only taken 3 drugs and I really do prefer 5 or more"
Number of CDs I own: See above
Number of Piercings: Its more the location than number
Number of Tattoos: whatever
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Is this still about them or is it back to me because Im getting confused
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!