Benjy

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls or redirecting electricity. I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. On Tuesdays, after work, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an expert with a rapier, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.I am an uninstantiated artist, a target of lightning, and a ruthless foos player. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number ten and won the weekend passes. Children trust me. Feral kittens approach me.I once read Dune, the Lord of the Rings, and Society of Mind in one day and still had time to rebuild a car engine that evening. I have been pursued by the KGB. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I levitate above the bed. I have cleaned up nuclear waste using telerobotic arms and the power of my mind.I left childhood behind not to find myself, but to create myself. My will defines my reality. The laws of physics do not apply to me.Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have nouned verbs. I have verbed nouns. I breed prize winning gerunds. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, I have swum with sharks and I have been to the secret ninja training ground.