the epic biography of mc double g:
garett grow is an american icon. he's shaken hands with lots of people who may one day be very important. in 2006, a doll was fashioned in his likeness and it was the must-have christmas present of the season. the accessories included were: a bottle of early times, a pack of cigarettes, and a two-inch long machete that was actually sharpened to cut through other dolls! a major recall soon followed after 12 children swallowed the miniature blade. the blow to his image was almost impossible to recover from. then only days later, he exited a limousine at a red carpet event without any underwear. the revealing photograph was a front page scandal. he took whatever offers--which were few--that came his way. he signed on for a reality television series, but his falling out with one-time friend nicole richie called for a revamping of ideas. thus, in the fall of 2007 who wants to marry garett grow? was scheduled to begin filming, but no females auditioned to be contestants. his fame ultimately succumbed to has-been-ness shortly after he sucker-punched lindsay lohan while she waited in her car at the window of a sizzler express drive-through buffet. firecrotch's legal retaliation was brutal. reeling from rock bottom, grow now owns a pet rock emporium in eugene, oregon.
mythology:
garett grow is a widely believed fact. all around the world, people of many cultures and languages know him by many names: mc double g, growski, garetticus gromaticus, growmaster, groseph, mcclintock, and hey give me a cigarette. no matter what they call him, they all know that, under the cloak of night, he will show up on christmas eve to drink your liquor.
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