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Lauren

The world can not comprehend a woman who is both beautiful and intelligent.-Viven Leigh

About Me

As the song goes, 'I know a little bit, about a lot of things...' Which is very true. If you ever need a Trivial Pursuit partner, I will lead you to victory every time!! I love learning about history, art, people, anything except math! I'm very blunt and don't sugar coat things, unless I'm baking. Very sarcastic, with a quick, sharp wit and have made grown men cry...but then again, their manhood is in question! I love to laugh, so if you can get me in a laughing fit, you rock! I really enjoy writing and have 18+ journals(which Cassie gets on the event of my death.) I have zero tolerance of stupid people (including sluts, man whores, and anyone who is a text book stereotype.) And I HATE getting myspace messages that are one sentence long and misspelled by stupid, lame, loser guys! Basically, I am a simply scintillating human being. (Notice that being humble is not one of my assets!)

My Interests

Basically they are the same as any 80 year old woman;knitting, watching old movies with Mr. Bojangles, playing Canasta, Law and Order Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays!!!, cooking/baking,shopping,working out, reading,going to the beach, having a vast knowledge of useless things.

I'd like to meet:

People who are fun,intelligent, nice, witty. NO freaks, sluts or perves.Celebrities Who I'd like to meet but never will: Vivien Leigh, Lucille Ball, Alice Roosevelt, Teddy Roosevelt, Clark Gable, Rosalind Russell, Frank Sinatra, Walt Disney, Vince Vaughn, Lauren Bacall, Doris Duke, Judy Garland, Don Rickles.Someone who respects me,is romantic,uses logic, is able to communicate CLEARLY, doesn't use lame excuses, is nice,never leads me on,who isn't a LIAR and never gives up, and treats me with the level of respect that I deserve."The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s fabulous."

Music:

Phantom Planet,Elton John,Queen,Sinatra, Cake, Judy Garland, Weezer, Everybody Else, Nat King Cole, Rooney, Streisand, Copeland, Glen Miller, Journey,The Fray, Jerry Lee Lewis,The Postal Service, Buck Owens,Rosemary Clooney, Sam Roberts Band,and a bunch more that I only think of when they come on the radio.

Movies:

Gone With The Wind, Funny Girl, Hello Dolly,The Great Ziegfeld, Sabrina(both versions), Auntie Mame, Immitation of Life(1933 version only), Singing in the Rain, White Christmas, Back to the Future I II III(even though it is ther worst of the 3), Mary Poppins, Sixteen Candles,The Thin Man Series, Totsie, Hook, Pirates of the Caribbean I II and III, Hands Across the Table, Gypsy(the good one with Roslind Russell),Wedding Crashers, Pillow Talk yes I am an 80 year old woman.

Television:

I Love Lucy,Arrested Development,30 Rock,Colbert Report, Law and Order, Law and Order SVU and Law and Order CI. ..

Books:

Gone With The Wind(seriously,if I had to choose one book to read for the rest of my life that book would be it!), Scarlett, Life's a Banquet.2008 Book List Completed: 1. Alice Roosevelt Longworth, from White House Princess to Washington Power Broker 2.The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt(1 of 2 part bio) 3.Candy Girl: A Year In The Life Of An Unlikely StripperCurrently Reading: Theodore Rex(2 of 2 part bio)

Heroes:

Mammy..if you're a mammy I love you.

My Blog

Thats Heavy, Doc...

This is some serious shit, Marty. No, I'm not going to continue quoting Back To The Future...tempting though it may be,but I do have a weighty issue on my mind. Every girl's favorite love/hate topic.....
Posted by Lauren on Wed, 04 Jun 2008 11:53:00 PST

SCREW YOU

"Bad men screw you, good men screw you and the rest don't know how to screw you."Possibly my favorite line from the movie. Here are my thoughts on this evening, for what it's worth. Lauren and I went ...
Posted by Lauren on Fri, 30 May 2008 04:53:00 PST

The Freaks Come Out...Before Noon

For some reason God decided I should wake up at 8AM today. I should note that I NEVER wake up at 8AM,not even on Christmas. Since I was loosing the battle for sleep I thought I would go to the gym, ma...
Posted by Lauren on Mon, 26 May 2008 11:36:00 PST

Artsy Fartsy

Being the non-typical college graduate that I am, I have been reading a wide variety of things lately. I majored in business (a complete drag of a subject to study for 4 years) but love learning about...
Posted by Lauren on Tue, 20 May 2008 02:16:00 PST

SEX

I love how that word draws attention!I almost hate myself for this but I bought the entire series of Sex In The City today. The emo girl who rung me up at Borders gave me a weird look to which I respo...
Posted by Lauren on Mon, 12 May 2008 02:30:00 PST

What fresh hell will tomorrow bring?

While at work I served a table of Englishmen(and women.) They were nice, drunk and uber tanned.  The only good things about the table: the little girl has a cat named Noogie (that's a pretty swee...
Posted by Lauren on Sat, 26 Apr 2008 02:46:00 PST

Look For The Silver Lining

Regarding the list of good male characters, luckily the list has grown thanks to some good input by my intelligent friends. Here is the list as it stands at this point in time: Father of the Bride,...
Posted by Lauren on Wed, 09 Apr 2008 01:56:00 PST

Riddle Me This...

Lauren and I went to see The Other Boleyn Girl this evening. It was actually pretty good even though I knew just about everything that was going to happen (I read too much history, it has spoiled many...
Posted by Lauren on Wed, 02 Apr 2008 01:28:00 PST

Whores LOVE Phantom of the Opera

That fact was solidified for me on 20/20 tonight. The topic was in fact, whores. Diane Sawyer was interviewing this heroin addict whore, who in the middle of the interview left for 4 minutes to give a...
Posted by Lauren on Sat, 22 Mar 2008 02:31:00 PST

Blast from the Past

Everytime I come back home to Bakersfield I know I'm going to see someone I know at the grocery store. I don't really like bumping into people because if I really liked them I'd still talk to them, ri...
Posted by Lauren on Thu, 06 Mar 2008 12:47:00 PST