today i dislodged myself from a hole and found myself staring up at the sky.
bright.
sharp.
the vastness of which was neither scary nor overwhelming to me. and that surprised me...i thought, "for sure i am in some grand delusion. for the sky is so big. too big for me to comprehend." but alas, i climbed out further still, and found myself standing on my feet. a feeling which should have been familiar, but was strangely foreign. I found myself marveling at the simplicity of the strength in my legs…the strength to hold me upright against the weight of gravity…
against the weight of the world.
my body ached. like an unfurled fist after an eternity of gripping tightly to the air beneath each finger. there was unparalleled relief and agony in the unclenching. each muscle being pulled taut, and relearning how to breathe.
I felt strange.
light.
safe.
from the depths of my innermost being, I felt a stirring. a warm sensation of elation. of euphoria. of jubilance.
against all judgment, my body began to disobey the elements. my arms, rising from their place at my side, and my lungs filling, stretching to their fullest capacity. my feet planted, like the roots of a white oak, my eyes brimmed like wells after a storm. I did not understand why or how…
with my arms outstretched, the heavens within my reach, my skin began to dance. each hair tingled with revival. I gasped, “I am alive…†my heart leapt from my body at the very idea of those words, and could not be commanded to settle. “I am alive! I am alive,†I shouted!! my throat began to bleed and swell from the sharp reality of having not been used for such a long time...
and then came the laughter…uncontrollable, inconsolable laughter. tears streaming down my cheeks, puddling in the creases on each side of my smile. could it be? that I have been unbound? released? it was in that moment of clarity, I knew…I was found. I was full.
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