48477829

After being born to a Mongolian Gypsy and an Epileptic Irish Pirate, i was cast away and left on the shores of Madagascar where i was left to fend for myself for 6 years. Once learning how to pick berries, and rape and kill small animals, i began to grow strong and then obtained enough nutrition to stay alive. 2 years later I left my adopted family of a mountain goat and small latvian gerbal, to embark on a miraculous journey across South America in which i studied with various schollars and academics, and once again fell into the old habit of raping and eating small animals. This was frowned upon in a more civilised society, so i retreated post hast and joined a travelling band of asian ladyboy gypsy's that eventually took me all the way to a remote village in Romania where mice ate snakes, and eating cardboard was deemed common practice. After studying music via correspondance from the University of Estonia, i embarked on another whirlwind adventure that saw me tour the world with British band Genisis, as the drum tech for Phill Collins. After many long hours and numerous sexual advances from Mr Collins, i quit the tour and started a new life for myself in Melbourne, where i now live with a talking bookworm. I am currently working at an asian restaraunt where i assasinate health inspectors, make various types of dumplings, and pan fry vietnamese bok choy,. In my spare time i like to walk through the Edinburugh gardens looking for squirrels and other small animals, as well as going to lectures at Melbourne Uni discussing how not to get an infected japs eye when holidaying in Cambodia.