Captain Dirtball

Shut up, and Lets RIDE-ARRGGH..Hell Ya, and Do Da to all the Bro's,(I.R.M.C)---4 LIFE. Words of Wisdom Biker Style: Midnight bugs taste Best. Saddlebags can never hold everything you want, but they can hold everything you need. Wear heavy boots. You can't kick things when you're wearing joggers. NEVER argue with a woman holding a torque wrench. Routine maintenance should never be neglected. It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed. The only good view of a thunderstorm is in your rear-view mirror. Never be afraid to slow down. Only bikers understand why dogs love to stick their heads out car windows. Bikes don't leak oil, they mark their territory. Never ask a biker for directions if you're in a hurry to get there. If it takes more than 3 bolts to hold it on, it's probably crucial. Remember that you will be judged by the Horse you ride. Don't ride so late into the night that you sleep through the sunrise. Burgers and coffee are as important as gas. The number of kicks it takes to start your bike is directly proportional to the number of spectators watching. Never ask your bike to scream before her throat is good and warm. Sometimes it takes a whole tank full of gas before you can think straight. If you want to get a job, you may have to compromise your principals. You may even have to shave. Riding faster than everyone else only guarantees you'll ride alone. Never hesitate to ride past the last street light at the edge of town. Never mistake horsepower for staying power. A good rider has balance, judgment, and good timing. So does a good lover. A cold hamburger can be reheated quite nicely by strapping it to an exhaust pipe and riding forty miles. Never do less then forty miles before breakfast. If you don't ride in the rain, you don't ride. A bike on the road is worth two in the shop. When you look down the road, it seems to never end but you better believe it does. Young riders pick a destination and go. Old riders pick a direction and go. Overconfidence can be supplied by spare spark plugs, a set of spanners, and a roll of toilet paper. Advice is free and worth every cent! Sometimes the fastest way to get there is to stop for the night. Always back your bike into the curb and sit where you can see it. Work to ride - Ride to work. Whatever it is, its better in the wind. Two lane blacktop isn't a highway -- its an attitude. Good coffee should be indistinguishable from 50 weight motor oil. A biker can smell a party 5,000 miles away. Keep your bike in good repair. Motorcycle boots are NOT comfortable for walking. People are like motorcycles: each is customized a bit differently. More races were won in the tavern than on the track. Never loan your bike to someone else, and never ride another's. If the bike isn't braking properly, you don't start by rebuilding the engine. Remember to pay as much attention to your partner as you do your carburetor. Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on separate bikes. Well-trained reflexes are quicker than luck. The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome. Learn to do counterintuitive things that may someday save your arse. Beware the biker whose ink peels off. If you really want to know what's going on, watch what's happening at least 5 cars ahead. Don't make a reputation you'll have to live down or run away from later. Smoke and grease can hide a multitude of errors, but only for so long. A friend is someone who'll get out of bed at to drive her/his Ute to the middle of nowhere to get you when you're broken down. If she changes her oil more than she changes her mind -- follow her. The thicker your oil, the hotter you can take it. If you want to get somewhere before sundown, you can't stop at every tavern. Hunger can make even road kill taste good. You gotta be smart enough to understand the rules of motorcycling and dumb enough to think the game's important. The older I get, the faster I was...Travis, aka RINGO!..