David Wessner profile picture

David Wessner

About Me

David Wessner is an occasionally prolific songwriter and recording artist. A more or less self-taught musician, his musical aptitude emerged early. At age 11 he began writing lyrics, at age 12 he began playing guitar, and at age 27 he began writing bios. His former bands include Hi-Res, Anandasong and 5 ft 3. His first album "Mediocre Pony" will be available in Fall of 2007, and work has already begun on a follow-up LP.

My Interests

Music:

Member Since: 11/01/2006
Band Members: David Wessner: vocals, guitar, bass, percussion, machines, miscellany, lyrics. Engineering and co-production on selective tracks: Andy Tenn or Kimo Wantanabe. Illustrations: Lisha Joy PhD.
Influences: Elvis Costello, King Crimson, Fugazi, REM, XTC, Aphex Twin, Tom Waits, John Zorn, cannabis, et al.
Sounds Like: A ripe lemon, two muskets, and a curse in Yiddish.
Type of Label: Major

My Blog

If Wikipedia Were a Woman

If Wikipedia were a woman, I’d consider myself the most thoroughly well-treated man in the history of heterosex. Last night was achingly long and sleepless for me, but my beloved Wiki-wife was ...
Posted by on Sun, 16 Mar 2008 23:41:00 GMT

If Isaac Newton Were Alive, Hed Be Rolling Around in His Grave

Today I overheard the guy who lives in the apartment below me talking with some friends of his about the American space program. One of them INSISTED that the moon landing was faked. At times, the c...
Posted by on Fri, 08 Feb 2008 19:48:00 GMT

Dictatorial Diction

Have you ever watched a speech by Hitler and then immediately watched a speech by Mussolini? There's something about the German tongue that just makes fascism come alive. Italian sounds too laid bac...
Posted by on Wed, 28 Nov 2007 09:48:00 GMT

AKA ODB

The following is a list of the various names Ol' Dirty Bastard adopted during his career. Jah only knows how long and gorgeous the list would have been if he'd survived to a ripe ol' age. " Ason Uniq...
Posted by on Fri, 23 Nov 2007 22:07:00 GMT

Silly Rabbit, Trix are for Christians!

I just read Nelissa's blog entry about a conversation she recently had with a "know-it-all" Christian. I liked it so much I decided to write a little about some of my own experiences with that partic...
Posted by on Thu, 22 Nov 2007 04:33:00 GMT

David Wessner, Consumer Advocate

If you're planning on purchasing any of that ACT anti-cavity fluoride rinse, do not buy the Bubble Gum Blow Out flavor. It tastes distressing and unauthentic.
Posted by on Mon, 19 Nov 2007 08:49:00 GMT

Katrina and I in the Fiery Furnace

Alternate titles:Shadrach, Meshack, and Abednego Dance the Monotheistic Cha Cha ChaorMusic to Get Immolated By--------Last month, Katrina and I went to see the Fiery Furnaces play at the Aladdin Theat...
Posted by on Wed, 14 Nov 2007 01:22:00 GMT

Eddie Murphy Instills Confidence in My Drum Programming

Immediately after moving to Portland four months ago, I started working on a new record. For the first time since 1995, I now have access to MIDI technology, so the majority of the instrumentation on...
Posted by on Tue, 13 Nov 2007 22:50:00 GMT

Autonomic Response

Here's a snippet of conversation I overheard today:"Hello.""Fine, how are you?"
Posted by on Thu, 11 Oct 2007 18:35:00 GMT

Monkeys and Mendacity

Mandrils are a species of African monkeys closely related to baboons. Their appearance is utterly dazzling. Mandril faces and asses are bright blue, pink, and purple. Their noses are red inverted...
Posted by on Tue, 09 Oct 2007 14:49:00 GMT