The Chinese Dynamo!!! - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Who am I? I'm the A-Number one farm fresh free range 100 percent FDA approved never duplicated all organic no MSG and now with real bacon flavor, the one, the ONLY, Chinese Dynamo. I'm appropriately and humorously insensitive. I would cry a lot if I had tear ducts. The Dynamo is the 4,518th toughest badass you'll ever meet, right behind Rachael Ray. The Dynamo has a car named "The Rage", which in reality is a 2002 Toyota Corolla with a spoiler on the back, thereby making it a "pretentious midlife crisis mobile". The Dynamo drinks screwdrivers 'cause the name makes him giggle. I think monkeys are hysterical 'cause everything's funnier with a monkey. The Dynamo loves the random, the dead pan humor, self-deprecation, the mocking (can NOT forget the MOCKING!) and laughing at the stupidity in life, like when your roommate gets heat exhaustion and proceeds to go all projectile with the vomit all over the patrons of a restaurant. It's really funny once you stop moppin' the vomit. Know what woulda been great while mopping? A monkey. This is how my brain works. You wanna be me? Yeah, you know you wanna. Well, you can't. If you wanna make donations to my cause, however, you can. Ask me how!

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

I wanna meet the dude who gave Paris Hilton a TV show AND A RECORD CONTRACT! There's a big honkin' backhand smack with your name written in Sharpie on it, my friend.

And Natalie Portman, who's never been sexier and dorkier than she is here:

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My Blog

More Than Meets the Eye?

More than Meets the Eye?No. There ain't nothing beyond the eye here, folks.Yes, ladies and gentlemen... here're my thoughts about the new Michael Bay feature, "Transformers". Not a terrible movie. ...
Posted by on Wed, 04 Jul 2007 19:56:00 GMT

So many thoughts...who cares???

This time out, I'm gonna take a different approach to the blogging. That is, I'm gonna weigh in on a whole different bunch of things floatin' around in my noodle, as opposed to writing a Britannica v...
Posted by on Tue, 26 Sep 2006 21:11:00 GMT

Superman Returns? Where??

If any of y'all reading this know me in any way shape or form, you know I'm a big geek. Okay, even if you DON'T know me, you know I'm a big geek. But if you do know me, you know what I geek out aboot....
Posted by on Thu, 06 Jul 2006 21:26:00 GMT

Obligatory plug...or I'll never hear the end of it.

Just in case nobody actually knows why Billy and I up and moved to L.A, allow me to fill you in. It was an attempt on both of our parts to explore our creativity in a mutually satisfying creative env...
Posted by on Sun, 14 May 2006 15:27:00 GMT

They're here! They're...EVERYWHERE!

We're the guys you picked on in High School. You thought we were losers because we liked what we liked, even though it wasn't "cool". We didn't play sports, or work out, or had the opposite sex fawn...
Posted by on Thu, 04 May 2006 16:37:00 GMT

Oh Bruce, what have you done??

I'm sitting in my nice little $1200 a month apartment in Glendale, CA, and I'm "enjoying" the pleasures of the A-number-one-government-required neccessity of any new abode...that's right, boys and gir...
Posted by on Mon, 10 Apr 2006 18:48:00 GMT

Point? I'll give you a point!

Now, most of you know that I moved to L.A (okay, so technically it's Glendale...but since 3/4 of the state is considered L.A county, I'm not TOTALLY wrong) from New York to work in the entertainment i...
Posted by on Thu, 06 Apr 2006 22:37:00 GMT