48161898

Squeezed out of an insane Scottish woman called Big Chris, I was only a year old when my art of lying developed, a trait that I have developed with the tuition of my father Big Dave. Not bad lies, but white ones. For instance if I were to describe what had happened earlier on in the shop the story would be a far cry from the reality. The old woman who served me would be a crazy Egyptian with a small Fez and what I bought would not be Jaffa Cakes it would be a toblerone, setting me up nicely for an amusing anecdote about the Egyptian and his longing to go home after seeing said pyramid-shaped-toblerone. None of this would have happened but its a damn site more interesting than just saying "I bought Jaffa Cakes from the Co-op from an old lady in a tabbard...". (I am fully aware that a Toblerone is in the shape of the top of a European mountain).I am also the lead singer in a band called The Aviators. I hope to one day be photographed in Heat magazine walking down the street eating a Scotch Egg and having a piss stain on my trousers and have this be big news, because at the moment I do it and no-one notices.I love Scotch Eggs, Aston Villa, Oasis, The Beatles, my bizarre family (ask and I will tell) and performing/composing music. Nice to meet you etc...Adieu.ModMySpace Profile Customizer