Bernardo - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Im a real good lookin guy, as I'm told every day. Im about 5'6" tall, moderately obese, and dont take care of myself. My face is finally clearing up thanks to Jessica Simpson and her infomercial stuff, the Rogaine my Grandma gave me for Christmas seems to be working (pubes are coming in) and my braces are comin off in 6 years, so this is a warning to all you ladies: BE READY! I often get mistaken for really good looking famous people like George Lopez, or Edward James Olmos................. Its cool.......................... I'm going to run for political office someday. I'll lie and say it's because I want to effect policy, but it's really because I'm too ugly for show business and don't have any real talent besides kissin up to people to climb the social ladder, I'm told this is called "networking". I enjoy having power because my parents never made me feel that special, so when I am Mayor or Governor I'll show them just how good I am and every one will want to be me. I wil finally matter
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If I haven't talked to you much lately dont take it personal, I've been really busy inventing a way to end global spinning. Also my book tour kept me pretty busy. I've been doing a little Super Modeling now and then so back and forth from New York and Milan has me totally jet-lagged. Oh yeah, thanks to everyone that wrote the Pesident on behalf of my pardon, Im a free man again. My movie is gonna come out next spring, "Gnat and I, a Relationship Lost" hopefully it will get picked up at Sundance. So I'll keep you guys updated.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Well this is a very complicated question. There are lots of people I'd like to meet. First off there is my gaurdian angel, i think she is british. Id like to meet the devil, just to see if he really has an arrow at the tip of his tail. Then I'd throw him into the sea. Oh yeah I'd like to meet a person that is willing to give me lots of money for no reason. I'd also like to meet someone willing to kill all people smarter than me, that way I could be the smartest guy on earth. Then he could kill all the people taller than me, so I could also be the tallest guy on earth. HMMMMM thats about it I guess. Oh yeah we relly shouldnt eat meat. I know I know, I do eat chicken every now and then but come on people, Lets start treating animals with some respect. I dont want to eat anything that can cry. Also a little known fact about slaughter houses that you are free to check out is that STD's are a big issue on farms! The more you know right.Check out my blog place http://bernardoslair.blogspot.com/

My Blog

Freakin John McCain!

Well anyway i felt really left out last friday night when Obama was texting everyone about who his VP choice was. So i was like hey I'll tell McCain to let me know. So i told him to shoot me a text wh...
Posted by on Sat, 30 Aug 2008 21:13:00 GMT

advice to self

Things i had learnded. I think human beings are innately compassionate. If you show someone a Picture of something sad like a dirty homeless person, wet cat, a dog eating from a trashcan or starving b...
Posted by on Thu, 06 Mar 2008 17:36:00 GMT

Pig nosed Monster

Luckily, I had the day off from work today and had a full days worth of awesome activities to accomplish, sadly; I wasnt able to get to them because of my bout with the sand man last night. He refused...
Posted by on Wed, 05 Mar 2008 15:01:00 GMT

no title

I'm often asked, "What do u do all Day?" or "How can You go to the movies, restaraunts etc. all alone?" Upon deciphering whether the asker is indeed asking a question and not making statement based in...
Posted by on Mon, 03 Mar 2008 23:53:00 GMT

Opinion

We are in election time, what a fun time to be alive, we have a woman, a whitish black man, and a 71 year old. My prediction is that Whoever is the tallest will win. I truly beleive this. That just so...
Posted by on Sat, 23 Feb 2008 18:45:00 GMT

Just a thought

As I sit here today, i was schooled on why I should vote. Dont get me wrong, I do vote, I've never not voted. Anyway I was told I HAVE TO MAKE THE BROWN VOTE COUNT. WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN. ANYWA...
Posted by on Sun, 17 Feb 2008 16:31:00 GMT

Near death experience

I haven't written a blog in a while so i thought i'd tell everyone that I was hit by a bicyclist. Yes, it's true I was nearly killed! You see, I was walking through UNM campus by the duckpond when thi...
Posted by on Tue, 02 Oct 2007 03:42:00 GMT

Female Cheetahs Sleep Around

So i found this article today on CNN.com. It is very interesting (i hate people that pronounce it intristeeeng, oh well) http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/05/30/cheetah.infidelit y.reut/index.htmlI...
Posted by on Thu, 31 May 2007 23:54:00 GMT

Mothers Day

So I guess its mothers day today. Actually i dont guess, i mean I know it is (random thought=Does Mothers day actually always fall on the same day? I wonder if people would remember when mothers day w...
Posted by on Sun, 13 May 2007 13:43:00 GMT

Im not a cat!

Well i read in the news that a muslim cleric in Australia has compared me to a cat! This really pisses me off. To summarize, some Australian Muslim Cleric in Australia got in trouble for justifying wh...
Posted by on Sat, 28 Oct 2006 23:59:00 GMT