Daymon Ferguson profile picture

Daymon Ferguson

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me


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A good friend wrote this about me....I can't do any better so I'm just gonna post it.Daymon Ferguson hails from Hell. Or rather, Chico California, where he was born into a white trash tradition that he’s been trying to escape ever since. High school brought the impetus Daymon needed to become a comedian—he announced to his tenth grade drama teacher that he would one day become a stand-up comic. He got right on that, too. A mere twenty years later, here he is! But first he had to take care of a few other careers—Daymon has been a diesel truck mechanic, pizza delivery guy, forklift mechanic, waiter, racecar driver, ditch digger, exotic dancers’ bodyguard, and lawyer. All of which have helped prepare him for a career standing up in front of a bunch of people, telling dick jokes. Six years of work as a lawyer have taught Daymon to truly despise lawyers. Since making the decision to quit law for comedy, he’s started to feel his soul growing back. It kind of itches. When he’s not in front of a jury or worse, a crowded comedy club, Daymon likes to tempt the fates that have let him live for the last 35 years. He flies small planes, scuba dives, and pretends to be a medieval warrior by putting on 50 pounds of plate metal and running around in the blazing sun getting hit by big men with sticks. He is also an actor, a half-assed guitar player, and an avid wine connoisseur. (But please don’t call him a wine geek—he prefers the far more dignified “cork dork.”) He’ll pay $100 for a bottle of wine. But in beer he is true to his white trash roots—he refuses to spend more than $6 on a 12-pack. Daymon lives in San Jose, California with his lovely wife, his dog, three cats, some fish, and a bunch of fussy, demanding, and emotionally abusive houseplants.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Comics, actors, promoters, bookers, agents, directors, producers, writers, sketch comics, improvisors, wine lovers and other interesting talented people

My Blog

My wife just asked me to smell her panties

She's nine months pregnant...she is in fact due TODAY.  The baby is low in her belly, meaning her bladder is squished and if she sneezes or laughs she leaks. She called me into the bathroom and...
Posted by on Thu, 23 Oct 2008 11:40:00 GMT

Russian President Subdues a TIGER

Putin Saves TV crew from Tiger!!  Something about this story makes me think it's a creation by Putin's image consultants or marketing guys.  It just seems contrived.Next week we'll see Putin...
Posted by on Thu, 04 Sep 2008 11:38:00 GMT

This is just weird

Woman Stuck on ToiletI don’t know about you guys, but my feet fall asleep if I try to read a full chapter.
Posted by on Fri, 14 Mar 2008 09:35:00 GMT

Merry fucking yule

Happy holidays!!To all my family and friends, I got you all a new clutch and timing belt for my car!!  I hope you enjoy it, it was very expensive.......Seasons Greetings everybody!!
Posted by on Fri, 07 Dec 2007 13:40:00 GMT

The Prophet Mohammed

Teacher Jailed for naming a teddy bear Mohammed: http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/africa/11/26/sudan.bear/index. html   Extremists calling for the "Massacre" of cartoonists: http://www.guardian.c...
Posted by on Mon, 03 Dec 2007 11:46:00 GMT

Things I learned while hiking.

A cop is just a life support system for a mustache. Homophobia is a useful tool for the mushroom tripper.  Two men can be tripping their asses off in the woods, literally devoling into carnivorou...
Posted by on Tue, 02 Oct 2007 20:40:00 GMT

What happened to the dinosaurs?

apparently, they got slow and easy to catch so we ate them!!!  Oh those wacky biblical cave men.  I thought millions of years seperated man from the dinosaurs.....silly me.   Here...
Posted by on Thu, 27 Sep 2007 14:30:00 GMT

Can the Leave Britney Alone parodies STOP PLEASE!!

For anybody who doesnt' know what I'm talking about, here is a link to the original clip. http://youtube.com/watch?v=kHmvkRoEowc The clip is silly, but whatever, at least it's this guy's original opin...
Posted by on Wed, 19 Sep 2007 15:03:00 GMT

Ayn Rand SUCKS

I've never met anyone who read Atlas Shrugged, liked it, and didn't turn into a complete douchebag.A week after reading that book they're pissing in the face of some homeless guy, just a thick hot str...
Posted by on Mon, 27 Aug 2007 10:35:00 GMT

I can never live up to my heros

My heros are always paragons of some virtue that I fail to possess.  They've all acomplished something great while I wallow in dozens of half finished dreams and abortive attempts. One of my hero...
Posted by on Thu, 19 Jul 2007 22:41:00 GMT