uh, i don't know how to tell you this, but I'm kind of a big deal around here. people know me. underneath this charming, fumbling idiot columbo exterior i'm quite possibly the biggest asshole you know. i pretty much just flail around like and idiot and try not to ruin too many peoples day. just enough to bump my self esteem up a notch. what can I say, i like to blow other peoples candles out so that mine can burn a little brighter. i enjoy long walks on the beach, flying kites in the cemetery (watch out for the open graves), getting drunk and hiking at night, drinking, and burning or breaking things and unbridled; unrepentant cynisism and bitterness. smiling does not make things better but making jokes about purple horse shoes and irish people does!
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