VULVA KRYST

We are eternal, majesties of magic and ruin, here to mouth rape your eardrums. This all started out as a combination of jokes. One was the TRUE story of Jesus of Nazareth. Which you can read in our blog, and even add to, because it's all deceptive junk anyway. The other being a hateful attack on the pseudo-Christian Metal band (Kryst the Conquerer) formed by Jerry Only, formerly of the Misfits (the New-Fits don't count, as they suck and are gay).

In the beginning, we wanted to be the biggest waste of space of a band. With sounds quite similar to that of the terrific media-core band, 50 ways to kill me, only less talented, and far simpler lyrics. The first song the band ever recorded was on an mp3 player's record function; it was a medley of the choruses to four cover songs- "Do you believe in life after love" by Cher, "Don't stop believing" by Journey, "Here I go again" by Whitesnake, and "Rumpshaker" by Wreckx n' Effect. All done with an acoustic guitar with 2 strings.

Not much of that has changed and we are now the band you hear today. You love us, you hate us, you love to hate us. Oh, it's okay, we masturbate to our music too, no need to be ashamed.

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