MY Russian Nigga...yes, i said my russian Niga!!
DuneyjrEl (tres-dos-tres) 992-8932
Antonio Carlos Jobim. Robin Thicke. Everyone and anything!
Ones that make me smile :]...the sister!
JACK BAUER IS THE BIGGEST FUCKEN PIMP EVER....THANK YOU MATTY FOR FINDING THIS FUNNY SHIT:...When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables. If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice. Jack Bauer did better than Zack Morris on his SATs... he got a 1503. When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back. If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life. Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man. Jack Bauers calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer. Jack Bauer once double teamed a girl.. by himself. Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas. Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys. The National Bankruptcy Review Commission was formed in 1970 to form a new bankruptcy code. It was not enacted until 1978. If Jack Bauer chaired the committee, it would have taken 24 hours. If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's fucking beef. Jack Bauer won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong it wasn't a big deal. He thinks yellow wristbands are gay. 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight. Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer. Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you. Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won. When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer fucking hates lemonade. Every mathematical inequality officially ends with ";; Jack Bauer". Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive. Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men. Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves. Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away. Jack Bauer does not pull out. The girl must know when to push away or else its her problem. Jack Bauer's first words were, "You've read my file and you know what Im capable of!", while holding a rattle to his mothers eye. She wouldn't tell him where cookies were. Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact. You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink. If you spell Jack Bauer in a Scrabble game, you win. Forever. Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent. Jack Bauer once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the ..5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball. If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus. Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better fucking do it. Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry. When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out. Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're fucking dead." When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help. Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30. Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice. When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer. In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the fuck have you done with your life? In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell. Your attraction to Jack Bauer in no way affects your sexual orientation. Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk. The State of the Union Address was originally scheduled for Monday night. Jack Bauer made the President change it to Tuesday. Jack Bauer does the Sunday New York Times Crossword Puzzle in ink. Jack Bauer once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink. Jack Bauer has been to Mars. Thats why theres no life on Mars. It would only take 1 bullet for Jack Bauer to kill 50 Cent. Guns dont kill people, Jack Bauer kills people. What color is Jack Bauer's blood? Trick question. Jack Bauer does not bleed. If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out. Most children slept with a teddy bear and blanket when they were young, Jack Bauer did the same thing but with a real bear. Every time you maturbate Jack Bauer kills a terrorist. Not beacuase you masurbated, but because that is how often he kills terrorists. Jack Bauer knows where Atlantis is, because he sunk it. People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer. Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it. If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris. Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness. You walk into a bar and Jack Bauer's your wingman, you're probably gonna get laid. Jack Bauer makes onions cry.
plenty...Andre Aciman. K.M. Soehnlein. Jim Grimsley. Damian McNicholl. Timothy James Beck. Robin Reardon. Larry Coles. Brian Malloy. Nick Nolan. :]
Now and then, we all need a little help. So we ask for small favors. But it's always best to be wary of those eager to come to our rescue because even the smallest of favors carries a price tag. Yes, everyone has an agenda no matter what they may tell us. And in those rare instances where there is no ulterior motive, we're so taken aback that we may fail to recognize the truth...that a loving friend has just done us an enormous favor.friends. all of them.