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LockArena

About Me

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.. When the world begins to erupt and crumble, and debris of the stories you've been told your whole life - things repeated over and over until you have no choice but to believe them - start to fall off to the side, what tends to emerge forces the person within to know that things will never be and can never be the same again. And as the phoenix rises from the rubble of what was, she holds in her outstretched wings the indescribable beauty of what's to come.
Life is a series of realizations and movements. It's change, both progressive and regressive, and never in one direction. Where one piece of me proceeds, the other recedes, and I live in this constant shifting of reality and being. Once I see the orchestration of growth, I must accept that there will always be room for improvement; even if perfection is met in one moment, it is fleeting from in the exchange of that one moment to the next. Ultimately, when I understand that all moments exist simultaneously, I will see that perfection in the self persists....
At present, I am complete and whole. I always have been, I've only been told I'm not. I am form and function, soul and sentience. I exist to find my own joy, and continue every day to take steps to achieve my joys in life. I dance, I sing, I write, I ponder, I laugh, I cry, I wonder what it's all for, I decide it's all for something... and I cherish whatever it is.
In being a human being, one has to take into account all aspects of such an experience. Some are merely focused on material worth and gain, while others keep their eyes to the cosmic universe. I believe the entire experience is crucial, and I delve into as many facets of life as I can. I am political, spiritual, comical, illusional, relational, dysfunctional, irrational, logical, fractal, single, multiple, grateful.
It is my earnest belief that for one to find the secret to happiness, all one has to do is be happy. There is joy and sorrow in every corner of existence, depending upon how you look at the world. You can cloak yourself in misery, and then you shall be a miser. You can surround yourself in joyfulness, and then you shall be a joy.
This is the best day of my life, because it is today. I am alive and living, and I am supported in my eixstence. There is a reason I am here, and I am hellbent on realizing my purpose. I have no clue what it may be, but I continue to live my life with the idea that I matter... because that is what makes me truly happy. I was once a nihilist, and found nothing but bitter despair. I don't need to hold the key to the universe, I just need to follow what feels good. Focus on my best and highest vibrations, and be okay with anger and pain sometimes... they are catalysts for change and clarity. MyGen Profile GeneratorCHECK THIS VIDEO OUT!!!! NEVER RELEASED TO BROADCAST NEWS STATIONS!!!!! This is a video I found on youtube, never before released to the public. It shows the second plane at very close range driving into the WTC... and if you look closely, that's no commercial flight. The plane is a brownish gray. Similar color to a carrier plane.

My Blog

Free?

For a price...It is now she understands that only in death can one live.I have lived a few lifetimes in these few short years, and none have been so monumentally transforming as these past 2 years, 6 ...
Posted by on Thu, 11 Dec 2008 09:34:00 GMT

Quality problems...

Ahhh... Once again a sigh of contentment as I look upon life these days. Damn... this up and down, ebb and flow, push and pull of life is sure squirrely sometimes... (my computer and I just had a figh...
Posted by on Thu, 04 Dec 2008 04:57:00 GMT

Choices...

Life is wide open. Sometimes it's hard to see how many possibilities there are once you believe you are on a path, or on your way...Here I sit, three choices at hand. One choice a further set of choic...
Posted by on Fri, 31 Oct 2008 10:15:00 GMT

29 and feelin fine... cept for this flu stuff

There is a difference between the flu and a cold. I know I have the flu at this point of the game because my body ACHES like I just stepped out of an hour long ride on some centrifuge-style carnival c...
Posted by on Wed, 22 Oct 2008 08:16:00 GMT

you there?

reading...?Life is moving. I have so much more free time... and I'm able to write, to dream, to work out, to live life. No doubt, money isn't scary any longer, though I feel a little stuck in a job I ...
Posted by on Mon, 06 Oct 2008 08:55:00 GMT

Loving you all...

Okay.. who's enjoying the emotional roller coaster that is my blog page? come on, I've got lots of readers... I know you're out there soaking it all up!I'm grateful that I can be crazy and still step ...
Posted by on Wed, 24 Sep 2008 04:40:00 GMT

Burning sensation...

No, not that kind. The kind in your stomach. The kind that you get when something is amiss, or you've been fooled, or you finally figure out what it is that's been eating you... you finally get in tou...
Posted by on Tue, 23 Sep 2008 05:43:00 GMT

I love having time to write.

I love having time to write. I love having time to sing. I love having time to dance at least five times in the week. I love upping my commitments in my sobriety. I love having coffee with my friends....
Posted by on Mon, 22 Sep 2008 08:09:00 GMT

Hope

My hope is peace and love. forgiveness and pardon. strength within the spirit. I love you all. I hope for nothing more than all the happiness in the world for all who read this and beyond. If you feel...
Posted by on Fri, 19 Sep 2008 09:08:00 GMT

White people sweat a lot...

That's not really what I want to talk about in this blog, but it's certainly a reality for me as I'm sitting here, post work out, pre shower, typing this blog to you. It makes me kind of chilly. Gross...
Posted by on Wed, 17 Sep 2008 08:04:00 GMT