sophie

..' MySpace born in the same city as bjork, i enjoy polygamy, painkillers and ping pong. having been grade 8 at piano, harp and organ at age three, i soon became disillusioned with the classical music world and vatican concerts, and retired to live with wolves in the wilderness. there i learnt the secrets of perpetual motion, the formula for sod's law, the chinese language, and how to kill a man with a one inch punch. additional to my knowledge of three thousand types of knots and habit of knitting hammocks in under thirteen minutes, i also like to save kittens from imminent death. i have eaten monkey. living in the harsh andean mountains for three months, i learnt to revive clinically dead men by tongue alone while simultaneously cooking coq au vin in a blizzard on a gas stove. skilled in the arts of heart-surgery-with-wire-hangers, making tea for forty-seven irish priests, and bringing a man to orgasm faster than their mother can run up the stairs (allowing for hip replacements), in my spare time i relax by performing sonatas with the legs of wasps and taking vomit-inducing hallucinogens in the peruvian jungle with deaf children (i am fluent in three country's sign language). i don't sweat and my breath always smells like little children covered in talcum powder, just out of the bath. i can drink three quarts of jack daniels and still beat paula fucking radcliffe in a ten thousand metre sprint. ha...