WHERE DOES IRA START..?
WELL, IRA'S NOT SURE ABOUT ABOUT HIS EARLIEST DAYS, BUT IRA IS MORE OR LESS A
TALE OF RAGS TO RICHES. IRA KNOWS THE STREETS, AND SOME OF IRA'S EARLIEST
MEMORIES ARE OF WORKING ON THE DOCKS IN NEW JERSEY. FOR AWHILE IRA WAS WORKING
ALONGSIDE MARLON BRANDO DURING THE UNION STRIKES. IRA PICKED UP THE NICKNAME IRA
"BONES MCJONES" DURING THIS TIME. AFTER SOME TROUBLES WITH THE MOB AND AFTER
SUSTAINING A BAD INJURY, IRA ENDED UP ON THE WEST COAST AND LIVED RATHER
DOMESTICALLY, PLOTTING OUT HIS NEXT BIG GAME PLAN. IT IS DURING THIS CRITICAL
POINT IN TIME THAT IRA CONCEIVED HIS FIRST MAJOR BUSINESS PLAN: IRA BANK. A
HUMBLE START AT FIRST, IRA NOW IS SITTING ON TOP OF BILLIONS AND TRAVELS THE
WORLD AT HIS LEISURE.
THERE WERE OF COURSE HARD TIMES FOR IRA HERE AND THERE, BUT HIS ARROGANCE AND
IGNORANCE GOT HIM OVER THESE HURDLES. PROBLEMS WITH THE BITCHES, FINANCIAL WOES,
DRUG AND ALCOHOL ADDICTION, HEALTH ISSUES, AND EVEN A SEVERE GAMBLING PROBLEM
THREATENED IRA'S INITIAL BUSINESS PLANS AND EVEN HAD IRA LIVING OUT OF HIS CAR
FOR A YEAR OR SO. AFTER SEVERAL FAILED ATTEMPTS AT CREATING IRA BANK, HE WAS
FINALLY ABLE TO TURN HIS HARD WORK INTO PROFITS, AND IMMEDIATELY BEGAN
SPREADING HIS FORTUNE INTO OTHER BUSINESS VENTURES.
IRA'S NEXT STROKE OF GENIUS WAS INVENTING THE TECHNOLOGY TO CLONE HIMSELF, MAKING
IRA ACCESIBLE TO MANY BUSINESS MEETINGS AROUND THE WORLD SIMULTANEOUSLY. BUT TO
MEET THE CHALLENGE OF ALL THESE BUSINESS OBLIGATIONS, IRA HAD TO CREATE "IRAJET",
WHICH GET'S IRA ANY WHERE ON THE GLOBE IN RECORD TIME. NOW IN CHARGE OF THREE
MAJOR STEAMROLLERS OF BUSINESS, AND HAVING BECOME A MAJOR CAPTAIN OF INDUSTRY,
IRA WAS FINALLY ABLE TO CONSIDER A MOMENT OF RELAXATION.
IRONICALLY, IRA TOOK TO THE STREETS FOR ABOUT A YEAR OR SO, NOT SPENDING A
SINGLE RED CENT, TO GET BACK IN TOUCH WITH HIS ROOTS. SADLY, IRA BECAME HOOKED
ON JUNK AND BOOZE AND GAMBLING ALL OVER AGAIN. THE BITCHES HAD BECOME TOO MUCH
FOR IRA AS WELL, AND IRA LOST HIMSELF. THE GRIT AND GRIME OF THE STREETS ARE AS MUCH
A HOME TO IRA AS IS THE WARM AND POSH INTERIOR OF ONE OF HIS IRAJETS.
IT WAS A STRANGE ENCOUNTER THAT IRA HAD WITH AN IRACLONE THAT PULLED HIM OUT OF
THIS TAILSPIN. IRA HAD A LONG TALK WITH IRA AT A NEW JERSEY BAR AND SORTED OUT
HIS PRIORITIES. IRA WAS ABLE TO REFOCUS ON HIS WORK BUT REALIZED THE
IRACLONES HAD DONE A PRETTY GOOD JOB IN HIS ABSENCE.
FOR THE NEXT TEN YEARS OR SO, IRA WOULD HAVE DEALINGS AND PARTY ALONGIDE
ESTEEMED DIGNITARIES, POLITICAL LEADERS, AND A-LIST CELEBRITIES. IRA PRETTY MUCH
KNOWS EVERYBODY.
IRA WOULD THEN GO ON TO START INVENTING EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD AND BUILDING
EVERYTHING THAT EXISTS. IF YOU'VE SEEN SOMETHING EVER, IRA MADE OR INVENTED IT.
AT THIS POINT, IRA LIKES MEETING PEOPLE. MEET IRA.
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