Howdy! Y'all may know me by my real name, Shane Vendrell. I like to go by Cletus Van Damme on certain occasions. Like, for instance, when I need to rent storage space for some money I may not technically be supposed to have. Or maybe when I end up being a witness in the car accident of the Armenian mobster I'm following. You know how it is... I can't just give him my real name can I?
I may be married with a kid now and another on the way, but what Mara doesn't know won't hurt her. So if any of you ladies are interested just drop by the Barn and ask for Detective Vendrell. I mean, eating's not cheating, right?
Anyways, you're probably familiar with my illustrious career as a Detective in the Los Angeles Police Department, and more specifically Farmington's very own distinguished and effective Strike Team led by my good friend Detective Vic Mackey. Going toe to toe with true scum every day is my job, so I expect some understanding when I try to pad my retirement fund with illicitly appropriated cash from time to time. (You hear me Aceveda? Cut us some slack, damn it. We're not the real criminals here...) So yeah, me and Vic go way back, even before the Strike Team we were partners. He's like a brother to me, I can't wait to just hang out and go golfing with him when we retire... Then there's the other half of our little Strike Team family, Detective Ronnie Gardocki and the rotting corpse of Detective Curtis "Lemonhead" Lemansky.
That's right, recently my buddy Lem was killed by, uh... someone...
UPDATE:Guardo did it! I knew it all along. I mean, "Who killed Lem with a Salvadoran grenade?"
Uh, I dunno, maybe a Salvadoran! Case closed there folks, glad that's all behind us...
UPDATE:Well, shit. Vic knows it was me, and since Vic knows Ronnie knows. So I killed Lem. One day a guy is helping save your ass from a One-Niner kingpin, the next you're dropping a grenade in his lap. It happens.
Do I regret it? You bet.
Did it seem like the best option at the time? Well, yeah, but none of 'em were all that good. Lem was screwed regardless...
So now Vic is all raged out and hoping for my death. What a great friend he is, eh? There's also a couple of new folks on the Team. Julien's a rookie on the Strike Team and this Kevin Hiatt fella is gettin' in the swing of things to take over for Vic. Of course, the way things are going I'll probably need to be replaced fairly soon, too.
Damn is Vic ever overreacting...
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