TOP 10 THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY TO A DJ:01. PLAY SOMETHING GOOD... SOMETHING WE CAN DANCE TO! The DJ has to play for more than one person... so what you hate may be another's favorite song and EVERYTHING played here can be danced to, one way or another, dumbass!02. WOULD YOU PLAY SOMETHING WITH A "BEAT"? WTF!? I know of NO songs played in a club that don't have some sort of BEAT!03. I DON'T KNOW WHO SINGS IT AND I DON'T KNOW THE NAME OF THE SONG, BUT IT GOES LIKE THIS.... PLEASE don't sing for the DJ. I have to put up with smoke filled rooms, dangerous decibel levels, spilled drinks, and YOU all night long... Do me a favor and DON'T give me a rendition of your favorite song!04. EVERYBODY WANTS TO HEAR IT! Oh, sure... you just polled everyone in the club and, as their spokesperson, you're requesting the song.05. EVERYBODY WILL DANCE IF YOU PLAY IT! Umm....The DJ won't!! Guess that blows a hole in your theory!06. I CAN GET LAID IF YOU PLAY IT! Why settle for one night? Go buy the cd and get laid for a whole month, dumbass!07. I WANT TO HEAR IT NEXT! The ONLY people who can get away with that statement write my paycheck, and most of the time, not even then!08. WHAT DO YOU HAVE? There are over 6000 songs in this pretty little laptop of mine. It's a lot easier for you to go have another drink and figure out what you want to hear than it is for me to recite the name of every song in the computer!09. HEY, MAN, NOBODY CAN DANCE TO THIS! It's NOT advisable to say this when the dance floor is packed (but some people do anyway!) But let me point out, even if there is only ONE person on the floor, it STILL contradicts the statement!10. PLAY IT SOON BECAUSE WE'RE LEAVING! If you're gonna leave after I play it, why shouldn't I wait until the very last song so you have to stay all night! Moron!OH YEA, ONE FINAL REQUEST.... If I crack the mic to shout out a birthday girl, please dont come tell me it is your birthday just to hear your name out loud!! If your birthday doesnt fall within 7 days, dont bother. Otherwise, you won't be able to hear your favorite song. All you will hear is me saying something like this: "Shout out to Elizabeth who is turning 25 tonight! Happy Bithday to Stacey! Where is Michelle? Michelle's celebrating her 23rd birthday tonight! Everybody in Vanessa's birthday group, make some noise! Happy birthday Jessica! Brooke is 22! Whooohoooo! I didnt forget about Lisa and her whole Party bus all the way from Timbucktoo!" THIS GENERALLY SNOWBALLS INTO: "Shout our to Nicole and the whole class of 2007! Uh oh! Where is Gaby and her whole batchlorette party? Happy anniversary to Eddie and Shiela!! They've been together for 2 whole months now!"POINT IS, ABUSE THE PRIVELEDGE, AND IT WONT BE THERE WHEN IT REALLY IS YOUR BIRTHDAY OR OTHER SPECIAL OCCASION!!!