Smooth Mutha Fucka - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Hi, I'm Jeff. I'm a dork! Will somebody love me?

My Interests

Friends, family, cooking, eating, drinking, ringing the gong, Taco Tuesdays, hottubbing, sunshine, the beach, snowboarding, camping, wakeboarding, mountain biking, skydiving, weight lifting, darts, pool, dominoes, poker, scrabble, pets, Sharks, Bulldogs, Fighting Irish, Lakers, A's, Rams, reggae, metal, computers, video games, and sex. ...NOT in that order.

I'd like to meet:

A hot nymphomaniac dishwasher... or two.

Leave a Comment Here

Music:

Music provided by:
Scratch Radio

Movies:

Talladega Nights, Up In Smoke, Batman Begins, The Godfather, True Romance, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Kill Bill, Reservoir Dogs, Snatch, Fight Club, El Mariachi, Zoolander...

Television:

Venture Brothers, My Name is Earl, Sopranos, Weeds, South Park, SpongeBob...

Books:

Philosophy in the Bedroom - Marquis de Sade
The Iliad - Homer
A Brief History of Time - Stephen Hawking

Heroes:

My Grandfather, the toughest mother fucker that ever lived! R.I.P.

My Blog

My friends don't understand me. Part 2

Okay, it was late and I was tired so I had to cut the last blog short. To continue... Like I said, I don't have sex with just anyone who's willing. I have rules that I try to live by. Actually, they'r...
Posted by Smooth Mutha Fucka on Sun, 19 Mar 2006 02:39:00 PST

Some friends just don't understand me

I think Kim and Maggie are starting to. (Hi, girls. Thanks for hanging out with me after the Sharks game today. You're always an ego boost.) My friends are aways trying to hook me up. I'm always down ...
Posted by Smooth Mutha Fucka on Sun, 19 Mar 2006 05:29:00 PST

Good Guy or Bad Boy?

Okay, help me out. Last night, after the Sharks game, one of my female friends said she thought I really knew women. She had read my last blog and thought I was "right on." My date was telling my...
Posted by Smooth Mutha Fucka on Sat, 04 Feb 2006 04:07:00 PST

What women want

I spent most of the day, today, with a couple of really good friends. Really good people! I'm a little closer to her than him but pretty close to both. They've been together for quite a long time...
Posted by Smooth Mutha Fucka on Mon, 30 Jan 2006 04:17:00 PST

You don't look like Brad Pitt. You loser!

I read people's blogs all the time. My friends' blogs and random MySpace users' blogs. I was reading one on a girl's profile where she went on a rant about getting "rude and obnoxious messages al...
Posted by Smooth Mutha Fucka on Fri, 27 Jan 2006 05:16:00 PST

No, I don't want to see your fucking web cam!

I don't want to IM you at Yahoo or AOL. I don't want to email you or vote for you on ratemyscankyass.com! If you send me a message, I will report you. I'm getting tired of the spam on MySpace. I know ...
Posted by Smooth Mutha Fucka on Sat, 21 Jan 2006 04:44:00 PST

Hey, its the new door man!

I feel the need to explain myself. I just started working security at the Almaden Brit. I'm catching so much shit! I know everybody. I've been teaching bar etiquette to just-turned-21-year-olds f...
Posted by Smooth Mutha Fucka on Tue, 03 Jan 2006 03:58:00 PST

MySpace Friends and whores.

You know what I like doing when I'm really bored? I like browsing the profiles of really hot chicks on MySpace. You know the ones. The ones with skanky pics of their boobs or asses, or posing in a tho...
Posted by Smooth Mutha Fucka on Fri, 25 Nov 2005 01:40:00 PST

"You're a Smooth Mutha Fucka!"

I hear this all the time. But you know, no one ever asks, "Jeff, just how fuckin' smooth are you?" Well, let me tell ya. A coupla Thursdays ago, I'm at the Brit, doin' my weekly 8 hour drunk. Five or ...
Posted by Smooth Mutha Fucka on Thu, 29 Sep 2005 05:39:00 PST