I'd like to meet:
Only Jack Bauer can fly a plane from the luggage compartment.*The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.*Jack Bauer doesn't need to eat, sleep, or use the bathroom because his organs are afraid of making him angry.*If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.*Passed out, surrounded by terrorists and nerve gas, and handcuffed to a table leg, Jack Bauer laughed to himself and said, "I have them right where I want them."*If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".*If Jack Bauer's gun jams, it's because he wanted to beat you with it.*Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.*Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.*There have been no terrorist attacks in United States since Jack Bauer has appeared on television.The state of California plans to reduce violent crime by changing the method of capital punishment from lethal injection to Jack Bauer.*If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.*When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.*1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.*Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.*If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's fucking beef.*Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.*Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.*Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun.*A standard deck now contains 48 cards. Too many people were getting hurt for trying to play Jack.*Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.*It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Oh you are so screwed.*On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence.*Jack doesn't believe in Murphy's Law, only Bauer's Law: "Whatever CAN go wrong, WILL be resolved in a period of 24 hours."*Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.*In order to control illegal immigration in the United States, the president installed cardboard cutouts of Jack Bauer along the US/Mexico border.*Jack Bauer set an ordinary flash memory card to self-destruct. Don't ask how he did it, he's fucking Jack Bauer.*Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.*There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Jack Bauer way. It's basically the right way but faster and more deaths.*Tony was once shot in the neck, rushed to the hospital, underwent emergency surgery and was back on the job in just a few hours. Jack Bauer still can't believe that pussy went to the hospital first.*Jack Bauer doesn't take fingerprints, he takes fingers.*Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.*Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.*The truth may hurt, but it doesn't hurt as much as Jack Bauer.*In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the fuck have you done with your life?*Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.*Jack Bauer wasn't born, he was unleashed.*Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.*Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes.*When someone asks him how his day is going, Jack replies, "Previously, on 24..."*Jack Bauer arm once wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.*You know Jack Bauer loves Audrey when he willingly gives up the opportunity to torture her.*When Jack Bauer goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn't go off, security gives him a gun.*.*Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.*.*Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're fucking dead."*Jack Bauer once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.*"Jack Bauer" is Arabic for "I'm fucked".*Guns dont kill people, Jack Bauer kills people. img src="http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d98/vergelimbo/jackba uerisdead.jpg"