When it comes to charity, I stop at nothing.
Ok, I'm giving FREE ADVICE here now:
Free Advice #1: That whole thing with the puckering of your lips while holding up a peace sign.... it's over. If you have a pic of you on your myspace doing that, take it down while you can still salvage some of your dignity.
Free Advice #2: People from California don't call California "Cali". So unless you want to out yourself as a dumb fuck who's trying to sound like he/she knows what's up, or you like coming off like a douchebag, just say "CALIFORNIA". Ok, you get 2 for the price of 1 with this tip because the same applies if you call San Francisco, "Frisco".
Free Advice #3:Facial piercings, specifically lip and eyebrow... Come on, you know what I'm gonna say. They've always screamed, "I'm trying to fit in", "look, I'm a rebel" and have been indicative of an identity crisis. But now (2007) they especially say, "I'm so out of touch that I'm still rocking a fad that wasn't even cool when it was suppose to be, circa 1997". If you have one, bury it while you're still young enough to take some pictures of yourself that you can look back on and not have to say, "God I was an idiot!"
Free Advice #4: If you're a chick and you call your girlfriends or people in general "bitches", (ie "What's up bitches" or "Me and my bitches") just stop before you get sued by Paris Hilton for lame worn out terminology infringement. It was cute when she said it for like .0562 seconds circa "The Simple Life" 2003 but again, it's over. If you want to be percieved as different for the funny way you speak, try making up some cute slang terms of your own. Then, guess what... if people like them, they will catch on. Here, I'll do it right now to give you an example... "Wannabese". You know, like "Chinese" is the language that people from China speak... well "Wannabese" is now officially the language that people from Wannabania speak. Oops, I did it again. Get it? Baaaaaaah! Carry on.
Free Advice #5: (3 in 1) Get in shape then swap out that picture of the little topless blonde chick next to the guy with the "EBER" tattoo on his back out for one of you and someone you like. Take that picture of you in a dryer down, it says I wish I was wild and crazy. Finally, after you take the pic of you holding the closed bottle of booze up to your mouth as if you were drinking it, shoot yourself.
*No sheep were harmed in the making of these comments.
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