shmallie [paillasson] profile picture

shmallie [paillasson]

you laugh until you cry, you cry until you laugh. and everyone must breathe, until their dying breat

About Me

i adore johnny depp, probably more than you.
i'm trying really hard to drink less diet coke.
i hate living where it snows.
i rarely feel like i'm good enough.
i'm tired of living in utah.
i love football. watching and playing.
i have a near-phobia of big crowds.
i go over on text messages every month.
i aspire to own a bmw and a tivo one day.
i'm trying to become a good runner.
i love to swim every day during the summer.
i think bed-making is an enormous waste of time.
i have a lot of ideas in my head of how i think life should be.
i like tv more than i should admit.
you'll never convince me to like a scary movie.
i'm a little crazy.
i miss my friends so much.
if i have to wake up early, i won't stay up late.
my favorite flavor is orange. except for juice.
i fall fast. and hard. but i don't try to..

My Interests

diet coke, rainy weather, running, being under a blanket, the english language, good jeans, ice cream, doctors at work, good music, kissing cheeks, upstairs balconies, correct spelling and grammar, speaking and listening to people speak french, late-night conversations, subtitled movies, laughing, reading well written things, staying out late and then sleeping in the next morning, holding hands, my nephews, entertainment weekly, irene's cafe in tower, biting my nails, older guys, sleeping a lot, smiling with teeth showing, film, having the best friends ever, being alone but not lonely, famous people, big cities.

I'd like to meet:


i also like to meet boys who aren't shallow and girls who aren't fake.
and i'm dying to meet him.

Music:

rilo kiley, plain white t's, eisley, fall out boy, terra naomi, straylight run, regina spektor, the format, death cab for cutie, the shins, cat stevens, jack's mannequin, belle and sebastian, the postal service, coldplay, angels and airwaves, snow patrol, jack johnson, imogen heap, the garden state soundtrack, saves the day, blink 182, howie day, never heard of it, me first and the gimme gimmes, motion city soundtrack, and simon and garfunkel.

Movies:

harold and maude, amélie, saved!, benny and joon, sisterhood of the traveling pants, walk the line, bridget jones' diary, love actually, corpse bride, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, thirteen, willy wonka and the chocolate factory (both versions), mean girls, edward scissorhands, chocolat, a beautiful mind, pirates of the carribean, anything with johnny depp, supersize me, anything directed by tim burton, the one i saw at sundance [love ludlow].

Television:

friends, the hills, seinfeld, the office, 24, nip/tuck, scrubs, the cosby show, laguna beach, and late at night i watch elimidate.

Books:

perks of being a wallflower, harry potter, stargirl, uglies, pretties, shopaholic series, stick figure, back when we were grownups, the devil wears prada, my english textbooks.

Heroes:

ah, i tell people all the time that they're my hero, but i can't remember who i've said that to.

My Blog

right now.

i don't know what's happening to me. i keep getting so sad over the most ridiculous things. but honestly, i think it's more than that. i'm so afraid of things changing. i'm scared that they won't eve...
Posted by killing me softly. on Thu, 31 May 2007 12:36:00 PST

it's been a summer.

i haven't written on here in ages. i'm not sure why.   i've found this new thing in my life, called being happy. it's a big change for me. usually i dwell on the bad things. mostly the bad things...
Posted by killing me softly. on Fri, 30 Mar 2007 04:12:00 PST

just one of those days.

i'm so hideous today. i've done nothing but wake up, go out to lunch, and sit on the couch. watching movies, tv, and friends on dvd. it's one of those days where i shouldn't have gotten out of bed. al...
Posted by killing me softly. on Sun, 14 Jan 2007 04:20:00 PST

that pounding.

i can't determine if it's in my head or something external. i'm hoping for external. because then it's a quick fix.   back in my apartment, and consumed with germs. have been sick for eight days ...
Posted by killing me softly. on Sat, 06 Jan 2007 02:33:00 PST

and another.

i can't shake it this time.it's usually easy for me. to get over it, and to be fine.but today is what feels like day seventeen of this, and i can't find a way to make it go away.every time it does, it...
Posted by killing me softly. on Thu, 21 Dec 2006 10:01:00 PST

nostalgic.

today was a good day. although being with my family for days in a row tends to slightly stress me out, it also makes me so sad. happy, also. but i miss with all that i have the days when we were all l...
Posted by killing me softly. on Fri, 24 Nov 2006 10:33:00 PST

goodbye my friend.

i freaking love my new profile song. i think sad songs are amazing because they let you have a reason to get all your sadness out. because when you're sad for no apparent reason, you start to wonder a...
Posted by killing me softly. on Sun, 17 Sep 2006 12:21:00 PST

can't fight this...feeling.

so this is how i feel right now.   in my head, i have all these goals. because every time i start over somewhere, i feel it necessary. and a new school year starts in a week. but i'm not goi...
Posted by killing me softly. on Tue, 29 Aug 2006 12:22:00 PST

la pièce se sent trop grande.

aujourd'hui, j'ai pleuré jusqu'à ce que mes yeux étaient secs. je ne me suis jamais senti si seul. je déteste comment vide il se sent ici.  tout me rappelle de vous. chaque chanson, chaque film, ...
Posted by killing me softly. on Sun, 16 Jul 2006 10:24:00 PST

because it's beautiful.

i don't really have anything to say.but last night was perfect. i'm not sure why, but driving and parties and in n out at two in the morning and parks on sunnyside altogether spell out a perfect nigh...
Posted by killing me softly. on Mon, 05 Jun 2006 04:13:00 PST