Scotty

The Pigeon Story: All these fucking pigeons, you know? And some people put those plastic owls up on the roof to scare them away, but the pigeons don't care. They're streetwise. So you think, why don't some fucking real owls move in and just run roughshod over all these pigeons who have lost their fear of owls. It would be win-win - no more dirty pigeons, and a steady supply of owl pellets for urban elementary school children to dissect. But the owls don't come. Some say it's because it's too bright in the city. I say it's because there aren't any barns. Build some barns and we'll be fucking knee deep in owls and all the goddamn pigeons will be dead. God I'd like to shoot those pigeons.