â„¢GLENN â™  D profile picture

â„¢GLENN â™  D

Runs with Scissors

About Me

So pretty much half of what I say on here is BS but only because I think it is funny. Please take it all with a grain of salt. My blogs are fucking funny but satirical in nature so don't be offended. I don't know how old I am anymore since I've lied about it for so long. Umm... I used to be a commercial photographer now I sell stuff. Actually I work in the automotive after market as a rep and or corporate sales manager for different auto parts suppliers. I collect and drive Alfa Romeo automobiles, I travel all around the country and have been to most of Europe. I volunteer for FOCAS (Friends Of County Animal Shelters)and Habitat For Humanity. I also coach a youth track & field team with 147 athletes. I have a fifteen year old niece who is like my little sister, we get along great and I miss her when I'm not around her. I have a ton of friends back in Phoenix who I miss but stay in touch with. Even though I'm a Yankee by birth (Boston) I love the south. Savannah and Charlston and New Orleans are three of my favorite cities in the world. So now for the rest of me, email or read on!
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Glenn
Birthday: May 7
Birthplace: Boston, Mass
Current Location: San Diego
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Black
Height: 5'7" or taller with good posture
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right
Your Heritage: Dutch/Indonesian/German
The Shoes You Wore Today: Dickies
Your Weakness: Young Girls
Your Fears: Humboldt Squid, they're vicious
Your Perfect Pizza: Sausage & Mushroom
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Lower my chloresterol
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: Could not tell you, I don't IM
Thoughts First Waking Up: Where am I?
Your Best Physical Feature: My variable speed tongue
Your Bedtime: Last call
Your Most Missed Memory: I can't remember
Pepsi or Coke: Either
MacDonalds or Burger King: Niether
Single or Group Dates: Group or single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Earl Grey
Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee: Coffee and a Bolivar Robusto Cigar
Do you Smoke: No
Do you Swear: Like a drunk sailor
Do you Sing: Give me the mic...
Do you Shower Daily: Of Course, this isn't Europe in the dark ages
Have you Been in Love: Yes, almost every day
Do you want to go to College: Sure did...
Do you want to get Married: Someday
Do you belive in yourself: I believe in Santa!
Do you get Motion Sickness: On the "Tilt O Whirl"
Do you think you are Attractive: Like a Super Model dammit...
Are you a Health Freak: twice a week..
Do you get along with your Parents: Mostly
Do you like Thunderstorms: Oh yeah... Bring em on!
Do you play an Instrument: The Lute, Lyre & Pan Flute...
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: I'm drinking now
In the past month have you Smoked: No
In the past month have you been on Drugs: Just Crack and Heroine, the light stuff
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Not really, still interviewing applicants
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: To troll for chicks
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: No, but it's a good idea
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Yes I have
In the past month have you been on Stage: I am a thespian but not lately.
In the past month have you been Dumped: No, but I've been stood up
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: No, but I've been in the ocean this week
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: Just the hearts and minds of those around me
Ever been Drunk: Oh yeah, where's the toilet
Ever been called a Tease: No
Ever been Beaten up: Not yet
Ever Shoplifted: It just ended up in my pocket I swear!
How do you want to Die: Meteor strike
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Old
What country would you most like to Visit: Lebanon
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Blue
Favourite Hair Color: Brown or Black
Short or Long Hair: long
Height: 5'5 or there about
Weight: 115
Best Clothing Style: Amish
Number of Drugs I have taken: 6,047
Number of CDs I own: 400 Plus
Number of Piercings: One
Number of Tattoos: Zero
Number of things in my Past I Regret: I regret not joing the Munich circus at 12...
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS! Myspace Layouts
Myspace Codes
Myspace Generators
Myspace Backgrounds Myspace Layouts
Myspace Codes
Myspace Generators
Myspace Backgrounds

My Interests

OK, if you know me I'm always on a plane bound for somewhere. In the last year I've been to New Orleans (Twice) Nashville, Phoenix (About twelve times) San Fran, Charlston, Boston, Kagali, Kinshasa, Lagos, Cape Town, Port Moresby, Tunis, Atlanta, Birmingham, White Fish, Salt Lake City... And the list goes on. I love to travel and meet people and explore new things. (Food, music and culture) so if you're up for a trip give me a ring... I'm game.

I'd like to meet:

Coyote Ugly, Nashville with Jen...



Movies:

My favorite movie is Casablanca. I have about 200 other favorites, many are foreign: Cabesa Da Vaca, To Live, Farewell My Concubine, Eat Drink Man Women to name a few, Blade Runner (Directors cut only)X Files Movie, The Believer, Romper Stomper, Alien, Schindler's List, Falling Down, The Insider, The Life Aquatic, Groundhog Day, Kung Fu Hustle, Hedwig & The Angry Inch, Fargo, Blood Simple, Grosse Point Blank, the Jason Bourne series, Salaam Bombay, Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch, The Princess Bride, Galaxy Quest, White Hunter, Black Heart, The unforgiven, The Hunt For Red October, Basketball Diaries, What's eating Gilbert Grape, Rosencrantz & Gulidenstern are Dead

Television:

My favorite show is Scrubs, and a lot of Discovery Channel stuff, A Haunting, I Shouldn't Be Alive, Bravo's Top Chef, most of the food network stuff

Books:

Any thing from Glen Meade, Sands Of Sakkara, Brandenberg, and Snow Wolf are fantastic. Others include: Into The Wild, Grant Speaks, Against All Enemies, The Da Vinci Code

Heroes:

Abraham Lincoln, Ulysses S. Grant, William Tecumseh Sherman

My Blog

Hell to Heaven and Back

This was originally a bulletin that received some kudos so I thought Id repost as a blog for the rest of you. If You Want To Get To Heaven ...I guess you have to go through hell.  O...
Posted by "GLENN ` D on Fri, 02 Jun 2006 04:15:00 PST

DISCLAIMER

I shouldn't even need to post this but since one person who doesn't even know me took offense to a blog, I feel the need to enlighten new readers. The Stuff Posted Is Satirical In Nature And Content T...
Posted by "GLENN ` D on Wed, 05 Apr 2006 12:10:00 PST

Nigerian Scammer Payback

I posted this story on Craigslist months ago and everyone thought it was brilliant! I'm posting it again for your entertainment. I love fucking with Nigerian scammers sending them on a wild goose chas...
Posted by "GLENN ` D on Sun, 12 Mar 2006 05:51:00 PST

Jesus wants you to fuck me

You're a really, really sweet girl. I knew when I met you at that party last year that you were different, but I wan't sure how. You were really hot, one of the only other sober people there, and you ...
Posted by "GLENN ` D on Thu, 02 Mar 2006 08:13:00 PST

Why your dog gets laid more than you! (Girls)

Simply put it's because animals don't complicate sex with feelings. Animals don't "go out for a drink or dinner or whatever". Animals don't have a "litany of reasons why they have not gotten out in a ...
Posted by "GLENN ` D on Wed, 15 Feb 2006 10:20:00 PST

Russian Internet Girls looking for "Love"

Dear Russian girl posers: I'm not sure exactly how successful your little racket is, sending out carefully crafted emails in broken English to guys with personal ads at various sites. But let me give ...
Posted by "GLENN ` D on Mon, 13 Feb 2006 12:17:00 PST

Bleeder

You came to me like a dream The kind that always leaves Just as the best part starts It ends so abruptly And leaves you stunned and naked In your bedroom all alone It's kinda funny how something so so...
Posted by "GLENN ` D on Sat, 28 Jan 2006 09:56:00 PST

I Need Job

Glenn D. Geelhoed 3135 Dickens St. San Diego, CA 92106 (480) 555-5555 Professional Experience     State of New York, New York, NY 2000-2001 Prisoner: Duties included lashing out hystericall...
Posted by "GLENN ` D on Fri, 13 Jan 2006 10:29:00 PST