WHAT ABOUT ME? " A coltish unicorn slumming with eager friendliness among humans." --DM:)
I am an ancient Soul (34x3000 at least.) An ancient' soul's child....." I AM MY MOTHERS DAUGHTER,I am my mothers daughter. That is I am like her in that I love my home, it is important to me and I love the people I invite into it. I love to cook, I love to love, I love to give. I am not American. I will never be American. I don't have American thoughts, I was not raised with American ideas, desires, tendencies, politics or hobbies and past times. I am 100% Italian, raised with an Italian family, Italian traditions, Italian cooking, listening to Italian folk and pop music, and speaking the Italian language in my home. I have been surrounded by Italian relatives and stories told in our Italian kitchen which is our sanctuary, with women who were making Italian dishes, exchanging Italian recipes that are "top secret information" and known only as per who gave the recipe to you. I grew up baking Italian and adhering to well kept Italian kitchen secrets, that are never discussed, repeated, or shared for fear another Italian woman may cook better then you...I grew up in a predominantly female Italian household. I have celebrated Italian holidays, festivities, weddings, funerals and saints days. I sang in an Italian folk choir, and grew up thinking in Italian ways. Does this make me any less of an Italian born in Italy? I don't know perhaps only in that I have lost many of my Italian mannerisms and expressions and Italys own progressions. I am an Italian that was born in Canada but the only things Canadian about me are my love for ice, snow and the sports that follow namely hockey and ice-skating and tobaggoning,as well as my education, the books I have read and my aims to dream big.I love my family, they are the world to me. They are my world, they are there when I need them, they have never judged my thinking but are quick to point out when I am being wrong or selfish and quick to back me up and support me when I am being wronged or hurt. I have a big family and I surround myself with them as often as I can. There are 18 of us and that to me, is a family. That is what has defined me and it is what I expect out of life and what I hope to achieve and consistently keep around me. I have a strong sense of family values and they are what I believe in, give and share and it is what I am made up of. I have three sisters, all married, therefore adding 3 brother-in-laws to my largely female home. I have 7 exceptional nephews and 3 beautifully exceptional neices and my mothers boyfriend, who is also strictly italian. There are three things we never go without in my house. Food, drink and Love.I love to love. I love giving and I love affection and I love holding and being held. To deny me or anyone these things is absolutely CRIMINAL. I hold hands with my mother while sitting on the sofa, my niece and nephews sit in my lap, while eating, watching movies and sometimes for no reason at all but other then to be close and affectionate. I fall asleep next to my sisters and my mother at times and I have always shared a room, dressers and closet space. I had no bathroom privacy, if ever. I grew up on hand me downs, and making my own toys and games out of construction paper and markers and cardboard, and I played outside all day long. My sisters, my brother-in-laws, my niece and my nephews and I, we all hug and kiss hello, goodbye and goodnight and we say I love you often. This is my world. If you do not understand it or accept it or wish to be a part of it, then stay out of it, and you have no business even attempting to be near me and exposed to it. And absolutely no business trying to manipulate it, and making it and all of it's meaning any less then what it is. It is magical, it is alive, it is a treasure, a blessing and a gift. A gift of myself that I give to you. If you are not interested in any way to know, understand and love the value of the treasure I bestow upon you. Do not continue to look for me. And do not try to change me. I am full of compromise understanding and acceptance but I will not compromise most of what I am to suit your needs.I am an extremely sexual person. I love touching and being touched. I love kissing and being kissed. I love hugging, I love affection. To deny me these while claiming you love me, while sleeping beside me, while waking up with me, while existing in my space with me, is also CRIMINAL. Do not attempt to be near me, if this is not what you seek in love.I grew up in Niagara Falls, Ontario. To judge where I am from, without ever being there, is unfair. To never want to visit it, while being a part of my life to any degree, is equally unjust. It is a beautiful city, filled with magic and a constant sense of wonder. I grew up listening to waterfalls, and watching rainbows everyday of my life, surrounded by nature and every possible culture, history, language and traveller you can imagine, young and old. And I always had a summer job filled with excitement, and entertainment. My city is beautiful with five highshchools, tracks, hiking trails, and quaint little towns nearby that fill your heart with love and life and beautiful memories.If you find where I come from boring, in comparison to all the other cities in other countries in the world that have bred other people, maybe you are right but then again you are judging me and my environment in that it isn't as socially exotic and exciting as most other places and you don't see it or me for what it is. A place that I call home.If you are never willing to visit my home, my place of birth and upbringing, to see what shaped me, and where I came from then you are missing out on a half of me, the half of me that led me to follow my dreams and perhaps to you and you are in essence, missing out on the me that I have given you willingly and that you have willingly received without ever wondering how I came about to give it to you. Most of my upbringing and ideas, and dreams were formed there, the me you met outside of where I grew up, is the woman continuing her journey trying to find her place in the world and put to test all that she learned while growing up in the city her parents chose to immigrate to and building a family.I love to work with my hands. I work with wood, I carve, I paint, I draw, I sew, I write, I play a little guitar, I sing a little but I do not call myself a singer. I act. I dance. I love to feel. I love emotions, they are the blood of life. I love opera, I love theater, I love my legs, they carry me to all the places I wish to see. I love my eyes, they see everything I feel. I love my hands, they see even more then my eyes. I love my curly hair, and my olive skin, they are the southern Italian in me. I love my long fingers, and my long toes. I love the curves of my body and that with them, I have grown from a teenager and a young adult to be the woman I am. I love even my funny nose. I love everything about me, and all of my imperfect perfections. There are also my faults which I hate which I am aware of, but they are also me and I've learned to accept them.If you love my faults and all the good in me, then you are worthy of my time. To want to love only the good parts of me, in good or happy moments, or only when I look beautiful, tells me you are not living in a real world with real people and in actuality you don't really love me, but the idea of me. I am a whole. A whole is made up equally of two parts or equally of four quarters.....however you divide it, whichever of my moods, strengths, weaknesses, smiles carry me through the day, week, or months, I am still made up of that whole. Different days bring different moods, which in turn are created by being moved by different things going on around me from the moment I wake up to the time I go to sleep.
If you do not, cannot understand that, then you do not understand me, or wish to really learn and know me. I am moved by everything. I am compassionate to the nth degree and my limit for empathy is infinite. I am emotional and tender. Emotions are the key to life, without them, we are dead and there is no room for art in any form.I am grounded in who I am. But there is still so much to learn about myself, the world and my place in it. I am full of warmth, love, affection, openness, compassion, understanding and unlimited empathy. I have absolutely no tolerance for arrogance, selfishness, greed, cruelty, or shallow, controlling and manipulative people who feel the need to strengthen and empower themselves by belittling my greatness and my very self and who try to use those things to control me. I DO NOT LIKE THOSE THINGS OR PEOPLE WHO ARE PREDOMINANTLY DEFINED BY THEM AND THEY ARE NOT WELCOME INTO MY LIFE. I cannot tolerate DISHONESTY. It is UGLY, it is CRUEL, it is SHALLOW, it is UNJUST! I do not understand it and by denying me honesty, you are in essence making a judgement on my values, upbringing and myself as a woman and my ability to make decisions. If you lie to me, cheat on me, keep secrets from me, then you are denying me the exact essence of what I am in that I should be able to make the decision on my own whether to forgive you, continue loving you or to leave you. That is my decision to make, not yours and by denying me this benefit of the doubt through dishonesty, you are lying to me about who you are and what we are together.If you challenge me in my efforts, strength, dreams, many talents, passions and determination, you are in in actuality also challenging my very essence. I will listen, heed to any constructive advice but then I will wane from any negativity and go out of my way to prove you wrong. I believe in my talents as an actress and I believe in my talents as a model and creative individual. I believe in myself.I love Christmas!!!!!!!!! I love everything about Christmas! I love Christmas lights, and presents. I love finding a real tree, decorating it alone or with friends, over wine, conversation and laughter. I love everything and anything that sparkles, I love snowglobes! I love the warmth at Christmas time, THE HUGS, I LOVE HUGGING! I love the excessivity of food and love in my family. Christmas for me means endless days of affection, holding, food, laughter, my sisters and my niece and nephews, shopping, wrapping, eating, drinking, friends, skating, driving and everything all over again. My family and I are consistently cooking and eating, baking and laughing and finding moments every day to be together around our tables, day after day after day. We wake up and love. We hold each other, sing songs and make each other laugh, cry, yell, forgive and smile, we go for drives, shopping, and yes we sip espresso together, nearly every day. I love Christmas carrols, and I love Christmas cartoons, and I love seeing the joy and amazement in childrens eyes.I still have it in mine and I love the wonder I still have about life, love, magic, the moon, the stars, the ocean and everything I see everyday, including the morning sky and evening light. I love snow, rain, I love flying, travelling with the man I love, I love camping, the desert, the forest, and everything about me. I love music that does not sound agitated, or irritated, or angry, but rather melodious, pleasant, rhythmic, and calm, which inspires dancing, moving and laughing to any degree. I love laughing. I love lyrics, poetry and reading. I love plays. I love spontaneity, I love being kissed by the man I love with my head in his hands and desire always in his mouth, whether it's acted upon or not, but the anticipation or the possibility is always there. I love dressing up and going out and coming home with the man I love and tearing each others clothes off out of passion after a beautiful evening. I love making the evening even more beautiful by carrying it's love into the morning. I love being romantic. I am romantic. I love passion. I love desire. I love being stared at by the man I love with an intensity in his eyes, that tells me even in my darkest moments, he will protect me, and love me. I love cuddling. I love sleeping wrapped up in each other like monkees, I love lazy saturdays and movie nights. I love conversation til all hours and sometimes at any hour. I love being held for no reason at all other then to hold and appreciate life and it's existence between us. Holding each other is one of the greatest gifts of life that we as humans are given and for me it is what differentiates us from animals, because through it we feel emotion and warmth and love. I love my dreams. I love dreams in general. I love walking, I love being active. I love dancing with the man I love. I love dancing. I love baths with lavender and bubbles and rose petals. They soothe me. I love bathing with the man I love. I love water. I love swimming. I love lakes, I love waterskiing. I love intellect, I love attention, dreaming, conversation and philosophy.I love who I am....and any man, woman or person who questions any part of my existence or gets angry for me being me, or who raises their voice at me, spits at me, while I am attempting to love them, be honest with them or attempting to be kind, sweet or spontaneous, towards them or if they lay a hand on me, or abuse my mind, or manipulates me or tries to control my psychology for shear nothingness but out of their own sick twisted master of manipulative magic and cruel mind and their own self loathing, they don't deserve to know me and they are attempting to strip away at pieces of me that I have given to them, out of trust, love, HONESTY and POSSIBLITY.But you cannot keep a strong woman down. Not for long anyways, before she picks herself up, and knocks you out in the final round. And just as you cannot keep her from laying there helpless, defenseless, you cannot keep a pure heart from giving, you cannot keep a woman, me, from loving and wanting to love, from touching and wanting to touch. From kissing and wanting to be kissed a 100000 times from the man I love. I may be fragile, and I may be small, but my mind is big as is my heart, even bigger. And with it, my efforts and even more so my love. After all I am my mothers daughter and she is all I have become and more, and she has the strength of all she is, of who she was, of who her mother was to her and then who she became, and here she stands as the woman she is now. I am my mothers daughter and after all, she is her mothers daughter, and so if you want to attempt to knock me down, if you want to strike at who I am, then I fear for you.....for the history of their strength and determination and love in me, is what stands before you..ready to break your evil force. We are Jedi's, made from Italian blood, with Italian hearts and Italian passion.I am my mothers daughter, and she is my mother and she is filled with life, love, affection, warmth, kindness, profound sexuality, even at 74, a nobility, strength, determination, intellect, curiousity, questions, and a wonder for the world. A fearlessness to speak her mind and walk alone, a wisdom for sharing, a desire to always be surrounded by company, a knowingness to sometimes be misunderstood, an acceptance for what is right and a fight for what is unjust, a desire to be right all the time but unafraid to be wrong also, She is filled with a strong intuition, unbelievable foresight, perception, emotions and an intensity of love for her family, friends and the people she chooses to be in her life. I am my mothers daughter, and this is who I am. And I love every possible thing about it. And if you don't like any of this in me, or you are unwilling to learn about any of this in me or if you are not fascinated by it or me, then you do not belong anywhere near me, and you have no business even attempting to pretend to want to be. The world is filled with many beautiful people, each of us different from the next and it is those differences that need to be cultivated and loved as much as the similarities. I am my mothers daughter and I am all that she has taught me.I am my mothers daughter and If you ever are fortunate enough to know me, you will find journeys of her existence in me.-----Anita
