*I'm a humanitarian..which means I care too damn much.
*Music is the closest I've come to God.
*I adore my madness, even when it's too much for me.
*I'm a military fiend.
*I will create a real estate and entertainment empire.
*I'm a writer and I feel words are the ultimate definition of beauty.
*I have EDs. They can easily consume me as they have in the past. No, I won't tell you what they are if you don't already know.
*I plan too much.
*I mentally cripple myself constantly.
*I can be dead and alive simultaneously.
*The well being of my family and loved ones is my security.
*I don't care to give a stranger too much of me via an 'About Me' section on my Myspace page.
*I'm starting over...
*I'm complicated.
An Ocean Between Amends
Another piece of hope passed through screens
Begging me to wait with quiet compliance
Through the bitter years of blinding reality
Where only a structured way of life is accepted
A contract signed by your hand, but with my sacrificial blood.
When I left, it was for you
So when you returned, I prayed it was for me
Only to fall into that void where everything stays dark
And the light is artificial, emanating from our computer screens
So I waited with the wounds
Still fresh in my memory
Sucking this poison from the blood
To keep my soul from dying
Every time you said hello without welcome
Or goodbye with wavering hope
I buried another piece of who I was
Waiting for you to resurrect the dead and replenish the life that was left.
I see the moments dwindle
As you float slowly toward me
But all the rays of hope
Cannot melt the fear that holds me tightly
Your touch will embolden the desire
As senses run amuck
And the validation I desperately seek
Can only come from your lips as they suffer me softly
Again, I’ll be left with that doubt and fear
As wave upon wave takes you further from me
Reminiscent feelings of your essence wrapped around me
Touching the core of who I was, who I am, and everything I will ever be
So I’ll wait with the pain, endlessly
Still severe from new wounds
Covering the old that itch from healing
Looking to you to hold me steady
Every time you say hello without love
Or goodbye without promise
I will die inside all over again, burying those pieces unmarked
Waiting for you to complete me…
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