¿Josh? profile picture

¿Josh?

**SATISFACTION IS THE DEATH OF DESIRE**

About Me

"The world is full of shipping clerks who have read the harvard classics." -Charles Bukowski? ? ? ? "Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish" -Euripides ? ? ? ? "Our generation has had no Great War, no Great Depression. Our war is spiritual. Our depression, our lives." -Chuck Palahniuk ? ? ? ? "It's a pitty stupidity isn't painful" -Anton Szandor LaVey ? ? ? ? "What is good? All that heightens the feeling of power in man, the will to power, power itself. What is bad? All that is born of weakness. What is happiness? The feeling that power is growing, that resistance is overcome." -Friedrich Nietzsche ? ? ? ? "I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones." -Albert Einstein ? ? ? ? "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death." -George Carlin ? ? ? ? "The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it." -Abbie Hoffman ? ? ? ? "The price good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men." -Plato ? ? ? ? "Revolution is not something fixed in ideology, nor is it something fashioned to a particular decade. It is a perpetual process embedded in the human spirit." -Abbie Hoffman ? ? ? ?***SHAKE THE HAND THAT WILL SHAKE THE WORLD*** Hi. I'm Josh. I love thinking big, and do not have the patience for small-minded individuals. If you are an idiot, leave me alone. If you are not certain whether or not you are, then you most likely are one, and I do not have the patience for you either. I reputedly once tried living in Washington State, that didn't work out. Tried living in Chicago, that DEFINITELY didn't work out. So now I'm back again, just killing time until Kerouac's Road beccons me once again. I'm a lover of all music so long as there is true talent involved in creating it, I love 19th/20th century art and history (though not quite as much as I put on), I work out a lot, and I'm just another stone sinking into the chaotic abyss that is the portrait of American life. I am very bohemian by nature, it is a nasty habit I have been trying to break myself of for some time now. Since I now know that the only positively adapted animal trait that we possess as humans (other than migration and poking one-another with pointy sticks) is the desire for wealth and power, so I have recently decided to become very wealthy instead.I'm a native Texan (1st 22 years of my life)... Long live the Republic...


Cleanliness is next to godliness. Filthiness, however...
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Joshua Duane Wolfgang Fahrenkrug
Birthday: The 30th day of the first month of the 1,985 year of the modern revised Roman Calender
Birthplace: San Antonio, Tx
Current Location: Um... in front of the computer?
Eye Color: Blue-grey and red
Hair Color: Filthy Blonde
Height: Five-Foot-Thirteen (hehe)
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right
Your Heritage: Primarily German (did the "Wolfgang" part give it away, or was it the "Fahrenkrug"?)
The Shoes You Wore Today: Black Steve Madden formal shoes
Your Weakness: The burden of regret
Your Fears: Mediocrity, Stagnation, Daily Repitition (every day should be invariably fresh and new in some way or another)
Your Perfect Pizza: Pizza is terrible for your body
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Return to school, return to writing, start on the path towards making a significant change in this disgustingly mixed-up world
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: IM's are much too impersonal, I like to look someone in the face when I talk to them.
Thoughts First Waking Up: Christ, if I could quit smoking cigarettes I'd probably get more sleep (my nic-fits wake me up before my alarm does)
Your Best Physical Feature: I have a heart-shaped freckle in the iris of my left eye
Your Bedtime: Whenever I grow tired of reality and beg for a pillow-lined escape-pod
Your Most Missed Memory: "....."
Pepsi or Coke: Low-Carb Monster Energy
MacDonalds or Burger King: Eww...
Single or Group Dates: You don't meet your soulmate over an all-you-can-eat steak buffet
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Earl Grey
Chocolate or Vanilla: Cho-nilla!
Cappuccino or Coffee: Espresso (full to the top of the cup, with a splash of regular coffee, black as night)
Do you Smoke: Regretfully, yes
Do you Swear: Conversation is a dying art, one that I intend to preserve, ergo I've tried to cut back lately, but it's so fucking hard to.
Do you Sing: Love to, but hardly ever to an audience.
Do you Shower Daily: Typically twice
Have you Been in Love: See above, "most missed memory"
Do you want to go to College: I want to major in Social Anthropology and minor in Philosophy, then transfer to a University and study Mycology in hopes of one day creating my own field of study, "Anthropologic Mycology".
Do you want to get Married: Lord no, why base your version of an eternal emotional limbo upon somebody elses standards? It's nonsense, wedding bands are like tiny little gold shackles.
Do you belive in yourself: I'm a god, to not believe in myself would be blasphemous
Do you get Motion Sickness: Only in the car, go figure
Do you think you are Attractive: I know I am, but honestly don't think so myself
Are you a Health Freak: I'm a health nut. I fell off the wagon for a couple of months, but now I'm back on again and it feels badass.
Do you get along with your Parents: Half of them
Do you like Thunderstorms: There's nothing on this planet more beautiful than a South-Texas lightening storm
Do you play an Instrument: The Guitar, trumpet, just picked up the violin, occasional harmonica and electric organ
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy" -Benjamin Franklin
In the past month have you Smoked: See above
In the past month have you been on Drugs: I AM DRUGS!!!
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Lord no, dating is strictly reserved for the unisocial pseudo-pimp
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Yes, but just to obtain directions on how to get away from the mall
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: Hell no, see above "Are you a Health Freak"
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Absolutely love it
In the past month have you been on Stage: Other than theatrically, I've never been on stage
In the past month have you been Dumped: Nope
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: Not intentionally... my trunks were too big, it was broad daylight, what else would you call it?
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: Thieves and liars disgust me.
Ever been Drunk: Lastnight, come to think of it :-P
Ever been called a Tease: Too many times
Ever been Beaten up: Well, there was this party... and these marines... fuck jarheads
Ever Shoplifted: Only from Wal-mart (hey, they've stolen the American dream, why not take something back from them?)
How do you want to Die: I've got the rest of my life to think about that, but I'm currently settled on swan-diving from an overpass during rush-hour traffic.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: I don't wanna grow up, I'm a toys-r-us kid.
What country would you most like to Visit: Germany (need to go back to the fatherland)
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: A deep stormy blue or funeral grey, it's a toss-up
Favourite Hair Color: Mmm... redheads
Short or Long Hair: Long, has to be long
Height: Under 5' 5", I like to feel huge... no, not like that... ok, maybe like that
Weight: That's just shallow, it's not the shell I'm after, it's the nut inside, ya dig?
Best Clothing Style: Whatever makes her comfortable enough to be herself around me
Number of Drugs I have taken: It's not something I'm particularly proud of, but you can ask me if you'd like... go on, ask me... it used to be all about escaping
Number of CDs I own: Not enough
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My Interests



I'd like to meet:

There are few people I'd truly like to meet, some living but most dead......the definitive asshole, and my only true hero, Mr. Charles Bukowski. That son-of-a-bitch sure had one helluva good time...

... Jack Kerouac, above all, the father of "beat", the engineer of cool, the man who is single-handedly responsible for my restless wanderings of the American wasteland...

...the one and only Chuck Palahniuk, a modern litterary genius and legendary author in the making...

...Timothy Leary, I wouldn't need drugs to enjoy his company, only to enhance it...

...and definitely Henry Rollins, I hear he's a really friendly guy, just look at how happy he looks!

Music:


So there I am, kicking around the gravel on the ground. Kicking a couple of ideas around, none of which, I will admit, to me do seem at all profound enough to mention. Desperation. I rattle a smoke from a near-empty pack. One straw hat. One duffel. One guitar. Two legs. Thousands of miles of road, thousands of miles of uncertainty and American waste, simmering for centuries and seasoned to taste by yearnings for a quiet place to house the results of a sexual collision. Thousands of decisions and indecisions, black as obsidian, layered in soot. The road bends beyond the trees, and rolls on roots behind what lies in front of me. It's difficult to say how far it goes. It's cold and wet, the sleet stings, like ten detuned piano keys. The wind, it sings in unearthly keys. One duffel. One guitar. Two legs. All my self worth, thousands of pounds of weight upon my shoulders. I am Atlas, burdened with a thousand extra boulders. So many silent homes, and families hewn from mason's stones... Thousands of closets filled with bones... A streetlamp creaks and moans and sways, a howling metronome. I recall, as I inhale a drag, the wool blanket within my bag. That bible thumping bitch gave it to me. It should be warm, perhaps I'll thank her in "her Heaven" someday, a thousand years after her body decays. She asked me if I needed help, prodded and invaded with her judging eyes, the sort of uninvited gaze that's meant to ostricize. I was more than prepared to ask her the same question. The less you have, the less you have to worry about. When you've nothing, then you've nothing to lose. Never have I been so content, so tell me, why should I repent? Where's my punishing regret? The world is much too small, in raspy whispers now I jest. The firewater's now become a bit much to digest, but only to a quarter-empty bottle I confess... Oh but I digress, could blame the liquor I guess. A bad judgement call. A thousand worries flood in like sour wine. Like fruit that rots upon the vine. They flood into my worried mind... my solitude keeps my concerns well confined... so long as I have a shirt on my back, and a guitar in my hand, I s'pose I'll be just fine... ...Yes, I both create and enjoy music

Movies:

I've been divulging more in splatter films lately than I've been known to, and as many of you who know me know, I've always been an Noir art film sort of guy, but it's time for the bold, BOLD statement: Gilliam, Kubrick, Scorcese, Aranofsky, Lang... the most important men in the history of cinema.... there, I said it.

Television:

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book." -Groucho Marx

This is how your T.V. SHOULD look...... any questions?

Books:

Currently reading: "Woman" and "Mockingbird Wish Me Luck" by Charles Bukowski (poised to devour "Hotwater Music" and "Ham on Rye"), "The Blind Watchmaker" by Richard Dawkins.

Heroes:

Charles Bukowski, above all else...Other than this man, for whom there will be no equal, I have yet to meet the rest

My Blog

My Older Sister April and I

Wrote this on the way home from work today, in the car... I'm not certain whether or not the subject will ever have the chance read it, but if she should ever have the opportunity, then by then I will...
Posted by ¿Josh? on Sat, 10 May 2008 06:31:00 PST

Creature of Habit

I am comfortable in mydesk chairan hour or soafter dusk,pulling the lamp switch chainoff, on,off and on againand again,watching the citywake, sleep, eat and fuckas it so regularly doessafely from my w...
Posted by ¿Josh? on Sun, 04 May 2008 08:30:00 PST

Complete Incompletion

I took a taste of stale beerin the morning,washing the stagnanthangover from my mouth.SwallowingSpitting cigarette buttslike watermelon seeds.My left leg slipped intomy right pant leg.Then and thereI ...
Posted by ¿Josh? on Fri, 02 May 2008 10:10:00 PST

Pancakes

There was a knock at the door,so naturally I stood to open it.It opened as I reached forthe knob.She walked in,passed me andimmediatelybegan making pancakes.There was a box of batterbeneath one arm.Sh...
Posted by ¿Josh? on Thu, 01 May 2008 11:14:00 PST

Sideways Icicles

I leaned heavily against the balcony railing,gazing eastwardbeneath a ruffled brow,allowing the rising sun to paint subtle shadowsin the creases of my face.A damp spring windcurled about my body.I saw...
Posted by ¿Josh? on Thu, 17 Apr 2008 10:41:00 PST

Killers

This is... this is.... ah, fuck it. This is for me, and it is not a lone-violin no matter how much it may sound like one... spur-of-the-moment hangover poetry, let's call it that._____________________...
Posted by ¿Josh? on Sat, 12 Apr 2008 10:55:00 PST

The Familiar Stranger

"......."___________________________________________________ _______________________________I lay my head against the tousledcushions of a borrowed sofa,gently brushing thesoftest of lips,combing finge...
Posted by ¿Josh? on Sat, 05 Apr 2008 10:03:00 PST

Delicious

I am currently very drunk, but I can promise I am a poet, not a drunk... or both. There must be a comfortable meeting place between the two.________________________________________________________ ____...
Posted by ¿Josh? on Mon, 31 Mar 2008 12:56:00 PST

Reruns

For anyone out there who has recently undergone that guaranteed "final fight" in their relationship without having the hindsight to see it coming from miles away, and still felt justified afterward in...
Posted by ¿Josh? on Thu, 20 Mar 2008 04:36:00 PST

He Habitually Clears His Throat

Just for the record: I was disgustingly intoxicated when I wrote this. I don't even have the faintest recollection of writing it, but wherever I sleep I like to make sure that pen-and-paper is near-by...
Posted by ¿Josh? on Tue, 11 Mar 2008 12:38:00 PST