I'd like to meet:
You know you are a derby girl when...All of your pants are now too tight in the butt and thighs and too loose at the waist.You take any opportunity to show off your new ass bruise.You are disappointed when you don't have any bruises.People call you by your derby name as often as your real name.You think your derby name IS your real name.You always end up in the hosiery section while shopping at a department store.Your friends are more afraid of you than they used to be.You find yourself worrying that you are not eating enough carbohydrates rather than too many carbohydrates.You may never know the real names of some of your closest friends.Something is making your house stink and you realize that your wrist guards escaped from your equipment bag.While driving you look over your shoulder at the cars coming up instead of using your mirrors.You have to restrain yourself from body-checking the slow ladies in the grocery store. You want your name on the back of ALL of your clothes.Boys won't date you because they are afraid of you.You get in trouble for saying "I'm sorry".You consider putting off getting pregnant for fear of cutting into practice time.Your cell phone is filled with names like "Gori Spelling,Ryder Hard,VLeeYou want to get your number tattooed on your left arm to save the time of writing in on there at practice.You're minding your own business at a party, another woman grabs your boob and you barely notice (she's probably on your team).When your favorite bartender knows you only by your skate name.You often catch yourself flexing and admiring your own ass and legs in the mirror .You can distinguish whose gear is whose by sniffing it.You actually drive two hours and PAY someone to make you hurt so bad you can't walk normally for the next week.You've seen more girls' asses than a porn director.You've never put more thought into shoelace colors in your life.You have ice somewhere on your body twice a week.Instead of flying dreams, you now have skating dreams.