We're Slytherin, told it's a sin
A House no-one worthwhile's in.
What bilge, what rot, what utter tripe
A rather silly stereotype.
Slytherin's for those with brains--
Yet not ashamed to work for gain
Slytherin's for those quite brave
But not to the point of an early grave.
One learns quick and well in Slytherin
How to thrive and how to win.
We're clever, ambitious and maybe mean--
But hey, we get to dress in green.
We're all urban spacemen, right:
Witty, clean, urbane, polite
Naturally we're all pureblood
Keep our robes out of the mud.
We've a killer Quidditch team
Even without that Potter pipe-dream.
Three cheers for silver and green
(And if you boo, we'll slit your spleen.)
Cross us and get curse-whacked
A snake never gets side-tracked
We're Slytherin, it's all the rage
Don't stick us in your 'good kid' cage.
We'll never be the model tykes
Too prone to lies, too quick to bite
Let everyone else mutter and glare
We're Slytherin, and we don't care.
Our Head of House is on our side
Shows us how to be clever and snide!
And not only that, he dresses like a bat
Bet you wish your Head could do that.
Let's be frank; Slytherin rules
We're the house of the rebel, the house of cool
Trust only those who are already in...
Too bad you're not in Slytherin.
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